majestic tapestry

New Year, New Blog

2009-01-01T07:45:00.000-08:00

This will be my last post on this site. I've finally moved over to WordPress. There are simply many more useful tools over there, and I personally love the dashboard they give users for ease of management. Go check it out when you have the time. Be sure to read the 'About' page for a quick explanation of the title.

http://kevindowker.wordpress.com

Mission Improbable

2008-12-13T06:24:00.000-08:00

Baltimore Convention Center
December 12th
1700 hrs

I have between 5 and 10 minutes to retrieve the CD from my car. After running through the auditorium, scaling two escalators and back up another set of stairs to reach the building's exit, I enter Pratt Street at a sprint. There are cars everywhere. I weave through traffic, ignoring pedestrian traffic signals and avoiding collisions with families and couples out on walks, going to or returning from the harbor's array of restaurants, stores and tourist sites. I can see my destination 5 blocks ahead - it seems like miles. My chest begins to burn as the mid-thirty degree air slices through my lungs, warning me to slow down, but I know I don't have time. I have to get to the sixth floor of the parking garage, grab the CD from my trunk, and run back before time runs out. I check my watch - it's been 2 minutes since I realized the CD was missing. Thankfully the remaining four or five traffic signals seem to yield to the intent of my mission and I'm able to reach the corner, though I have to wade through scores of people waiting for tables at a restaurant or club - I don't stop to find out which. I enter the parking garage near the elevators - the elevator door is opening and about to go up - YES! The elevator's sole occupant hits 2 as I scream inside my head - can't you see I'm in a hurry and have to get to the 6th floor now!!! She gets off at 2 and I pound the button that closes the doors. The remaining seconds of the ride seem like forever; I check my watch - 3 minutes have elapsed. The elevator doors open - there's my car. I'm at the trunk with keys in my hand in about 2 seconds. I hit the trunk release on the key; I open the trunk - there's the CD. I grab it, close the trunk and run back to the elevator and hit the button wondering if I should take the stairs. I hear nothing - the elevator must be near the bottom floor. Stairs it is! I'm down the six floors of stairs in a few seconds, exit the parking garage on Market Street, round the corner and I'm back on Pratt. Back through the crowd of people, and once again I'm sprinting, dodging cars and people carrying large bags no doubt stuffed with Christmas presents. My lungs are on fire and my head is almost spinning from a lack of oxygen. I haven't run this far this fast in months. Again the traffic signals obey my non-verbal commands and I'm back through the Convention Center doors. I check my watch - 6 minutes have gone by. Am I too late? I think I'm too late! Down the stairs, up the escalators - just a few hundred feet to go. I'm not too late!!! I made it.

Gymnastics Competition Entrance Fee: $12.00

Hot dog and gatorade at concessions: $7.00

Realizing you left your daughter's music CD for her floor exercise in your car 6 blocks away with just a few minutes before she has to perform: Priceless

First Band Concert

2008-12-11T12:20:00.000-08:00

Cierra plays the french horn in her sixth grade band. She performed in her first concert last night at Mountain View High School, playing four songs and doing it with a remarkable sense of confidence. Cierra's not the "performing" type - even though she swings, flips, prances and dances in front of crowds of hundreds in a skin-tight leotard while every motion from the top of her head to the tips of her toes is scrutinized by seemingly unforgiving judges in her gymnastics competitions.

After the concert, as I approached with a small bouquet of flowers, she grinned from ear to ear. I asked how she felt up there; she said she felt fine, especially since the band had practiced for the student body earlier in the day, thus removing several of the pre-performance butterflies.

Tomorrow, we're off to the Baltimore Convention Center for the Christmas on the Chesapeake gymnastics competition. She'll be performing all four events this time, whereas in the last meet she had a slightly injured ankle which removed her from the balance beam and bar events. I'll be sure to post pictures and maybe even a video!

Tori Is Now Living Her Passion

2008-12-11T08:03:00.001-08:00

This past Saturday Tori finally enjoyed her first official horseback riding lesson. Yes, she's ridden several times over the last few years and that, coupled with her voracious appetite for reading anything horse-related resulting in unexpected knowledge and skill for a first-timer, allowed the trainer to decide Tori was ready to go beyond the basics and try a little loping and trotting with her horse, Katy. Tori had an excellent lesson, though she needs to unlearn some bad habits taught by the more recreational horse riding places she's been to, but that will come in time. Her trainer was very impressed with Tori's skill, interest, knowledge and demeanor throughout the entire lesson, which began with Tori shivering in the mid-30 degree temperature and ended with Tori's amazement at the shear strength of animals this size. The trainer asked Tori to command Katy to lope and Tori squeezed her legs just a little too much and the horse took off immediately. Tori's head flew back, the helmet slipped snuggly over her nose, and her hands miraculously found the saddlehorn as she hung on for 10 bounding steps that ended abruptly as the trainer jumped in front of Katy and flung her hands up in a command the horse recognized as "stop". I was a little worried as I wasn't sure how Tori would react but I shouldn't have been surprised to hear Tori's muffled giggle through the helmet covering her face. Later she commented on just how strong Katy was and how she was almost thrown. (Jadey, I'm sure you'll appreciate this story.) It was an absolute thrill to watch Tori enjoying her greatest passion. She's quite anxious for her next lesson.

"Kids Say" Installment

2008-12-02T18:10:00.000-08:00

I haven't had the privilege of sharing humorous comments from the mouths of my kids lately. Tori rarely fails to disappoint when her lips part to reveal what's churning in that little mind of hers.

While driving south on 95 today, after having dropped Cierra off at her gym for practice, we slowed to the usual snail's pace near Quantico. If you've lived in this area for any considerable amount of time you'll notice the presence of several very familiar-looking helicopters gracing the presence of Quantico and the surrounding communities of Dumfries and Stafford. One of these helicopters passed over us as we sat in traffic and I gladly pointed it out to Tori and who it belonged to. She responded with a fair amount of interest and returned to her book in the back seat.

Out of the blue she says, "It would be cool if you were president, Dad. Then you could meet Bob Dylan."

Yes, honey, that would be cool. Let's hope our new President-elect has loftier motivations for desiring to lead our country.

Back to School - Where's my bus stop?

2008-12-02T09:18:00.000-08:00

Many of you know I've applied to Southern Seminary with the intent of beginning a Master's program in theological studies. I'm really excited about this. I expect to start in January, taking courses over the internet initially, and then at their local D.C. campus sometime in the future. I feel I've been putting this off for many years and feel relieved to have finally made the decision to start. What you may not know, however, is I've also applied to Regis University's school of Software Engineering to begin a graduate program with them as well.

This program is, of course, of significantly less importance to me, yet important enough in the sense that I feel I need this in order to continue to be an asset to my company. (If I had my choice, I'd quit what I'm doing right now and focus 100% on seminary, but that is just not where things are for me at the present time.) I have a phone interview with the lead faculty of Regis University's software engineering department today to discuss my acceptance into their graduate program. It's more or less a done deal - just a formality - but will help me gauge how I should start and what kind of pace at which I'd like to progress through the program. My plans are to take one course at each school during each term and, after the first term, assess whether I can increase that or need to make some adjustments. Fortunately, I have my veteran's benefits and company education funds to cover all the costs, with a little left over to put in my pocket and make an effort at becoming debt free in the process of receiving an education.

Your prayers of encouragement are welcome as I enter another hectic pace come January, the likes of which I haven't seen since working on my bachelor's while travelling 180 days a year working for the big house on PA Ave. and not to mention making an effort to be a good father all throughout those long 6 years.

Wouldn't it be cool if I could somehow turn my software thesis project into something that could benefit the Christian community? I have at least one idea right now, but the details will have to wait. I don't want to give away that secret just yet.

1:34 p.m. UPDATE - I've been accepted into the Software Engineering program with some good news. I thought I'd have to take 1 or 2 prerequisite courses since my undergrad degree was light on the software engineering side; fortunately, the last five years of experience in the field has more than made up for that requirement. I start on January 12th!

Lunchtime Jog and a Google Surprise

2008-11-24T11:35:00.000-08:00

It's been a few weeks since I've pounded the pavement. My lungs are feeling well; I haven't been coughing uncontrollably, so I took that as a good sign that I could start running again. I started a week or two ago, then got very busy and haven't run since. I've been telecommuting every day since the beginning of last week - my office is being remodeled - so, I decided to take a "lunch" break today and ran 3 miles. I felt pretty good for the most part, though I also have to get used to the decrease in temperature, which is never easy for me. I took my typical route running south into Hampton Oaks but this time continued down Mine Road toward the Austin Ridge community. After passing through Hampton Oaks, Mine Road seems pretty desolate for about half a mile until you reach Austin Ridge drive, my turn-around point. I won't print my time here, but suffice it to say that this soldier has a lot of work to do. I know - gone are the days of my 12-minute two milers, or 18-minute three milers. I'm older, slower, and continuing to recover from back surgery two years ago.

When I reached my end-point, triumphantly, albeit quite leisurely, strolling toward my house I wondered how far it was I actually ran. I don't have a Garman wrist watch that tracks my distance or anything like that, so once I cleaned myself up, and returned to my home office, settled into my chair before my computer I did the next best thing - I Googled it. Google maps, of course, has a feature that allows you to plot your travel routes, giving you driving time and mileage all after entering your start and end points - with a considerable degree of precision I might add. I plugged in some simple data to get to my location in Stafford and then moved the "Push-Pins" on the map to the exact start and end points of my run. (Turns out I only ran 2.6 miles.)

Anyway, I noticed over in the left pane of the Google screen some camera icons which I know will show you a picture of the exact location on the map, there to assist any directionally-challenged individual with visual travel landmarks. I've used this feature before when plotting routes for driving trips but never thought pictures would be available in such a random location as the intersection near my house. I clicked the first camera and got this for Mine Road:

I then backed the push-pin up on the map to my street and got this:

I then decided to pan the screen to the left and I immediately had flashbacks from my sophomore English class in which I read George Orwell's 1984:

Yep, that's my car!

I decided to try and figure out when this occurred - here's my hand at photographic forensics. I would say this occurred in mid-to-late spring of this year. Why?

School is definitely in session: we have over a dozen kids between the ages of 5 and 12 in my court alone; when they're home, they're outside. I panned the area - no kids. It's not the weekend: many cars are gone; I'm at home and telecommuting, which makes it a Tuesday or Friday
The traffic lights in the first picture were just added this year; the paint on the street added at the same time is fresh, which rules out early fall when leaves are still on the trees and school is in session.
My yard: the tree in my front yard is dead which I removed just after relocating the Azaleas to their location in the picture - earlier this year in the spring

What do you think about Google providing street-level views of residential communities - all the way to someone's front door, as is the case here? Go to Google and type your address and see what you get.

Open Gym Tonight

2008-11-08T08:48:00.000-08:00

Come out to open gym tonight and play some basketball in support of the youth ski retreat in December. This could also serve as good practice time for any of you who are planning on entering the 3 on 3 tournament. Bring your $2.00, skills and trash talk.

Tori's 10th Birthday

2008-11-06T06:13:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday, kiddo! Tori is still very much a little girl to me; not just because she's small, but because she's so lighthearted and playful. Tori is likely the most free-spirited little girl I know and I often find it hysterically funny listening to her lack of concern for math facts, obsessive love for animals (hey, is that a squirrel), and compulsive desire for fun. Tori couldn't be more different from her tom-boyish, athletic, organized sister; and I'm amazed by how much my relationship with each of them is so different in the ways we interact, yet how greatly it flourishes despite those differences. Some interesting Tori facts:

can sleep in until noon if you let her
often forgets to brush her teeth
is ridiculously clumsy
is so flexible she kicked herself in the face once
has an encyclopedic knowledge of horses and is an excellent rider
loves to cuddle
is a pack rat
once thought a monster was in her room playing with papers on her desk, to which I comforted her by saying a monster would likely be trying to eat her than fiddling with papers on her desk; she laughed her head off at that and surprisingly slept soundly the rest of the night
once told me "Only ugly people need beauty sleep."

Memorable Weekend

2008-10-27T11:13:00.000-07:00

Saturday began a little messy with some light rain. Though it was light, walking in it from my daughter's school parking lot all the way into the school can still result in a drenching experience. Tori spent Saturday afternoon attending the fall festival hosted by her elementary school where she won some prizes that made her very happy. This is one of few events where Tori spent money she's saved for a considerable amount of time and I'm proud that she didn't complain about it at all.

Unfortunately, my daughters weren't able to attend one of the most memorable wedding ceremonies I've had the pleasure of witnessing. For the entire time I've been a father, I've had a distinct desire to show to my girls the true nature of love and this wedding would have been another opportunity to do that. Bryan and Aimee typified real love with a beautiful example of service to one another by washing one another's feet during the ceremony. The world teaches, oftentimes quite eristically, that love is preeminently a feeling, that once the feeling is gone love is gone, and if it's gone we are no longer consigned to impress upon ourselves the duties that true love demonstrates through action - loves duties are lost if it's identity itself is made to be something much less, or nothing like, what it truly is. As these two siblings in Christ, and now partners is the greatest of human bonds, bowed before one another Saturday in an expression of service we witnessed the humility of Christ and one of love's duties most obviously overlooked in the world.

Basketball

2008-10-25T05:30:00.000-07:00

Sunday, October 26th, 7:00pm - 9:00pm - the first of many open gym nights held at the Stafford Baptist Church gymnasium.

Come out and support our youth as we raise funds to help offset the cost of attending the ski retreat in December. Just $2.00 per person for two hours of basketball.

Open Gym nights won't always be on Sundays; we'll mix it up a little for those who can't attend on Sunday evenings - perhaps a Saturday here or there, and maybe even something during the week. Stay tuned.

Also, it's time to start registering your teams for the next 3 on 3 basketball tournament being held December 13th. Sign up at http://www.sbc3on3.org.

After the last tournament, I heard many people regretting that they didn't put a team together and play (I know who you are). Well, here's your chance. We're trying to get 16 teams together this time instead of the 11 we had last time.

Of course, if all you want to do this time is listen to the incredible emcee skills of Jason Pelt, I completely understand - just buy a bunch of raffle tickets instead.

Cierra and Tori

2008-10-23T05:00:00.000-07:00

If anyone is interested, Cierra's first gymnastics meet of the season will be in Fredericksburg next month, the weekend of Nov 21-23. I don't have the meet schedule yet that specifies the exact day she'll be competing, but I will post additional info as I get it.

This is the first year Cierra's routines are choreagraphed since she's made it to level 7; all lower level routines are choreagraphed by USA Gymnastics, so this will give Cierra a chance to show off a bit of her personality during her floor routine, and demonstrate some of her strengths on the balance beam and the uneven bars.

She'll have a few more meets in the area throughout the season, so if you're interested in cheering her on I'm sure she'd love it.

---------

On the Tori front -- she's just as happy-go-lucky as can be. Tori doesn't get worked up over anything, which is in stark contrast to her sister who stresses over everything. Tori is easily distracted by her many passions; she's a bright kid, very quick, but her "duties" to homework often wait on the need to alleviate the cat's apparent need for petting, ensuring her hamster is getting its required amount of exercise on its treadmill (the nowhere wheel), and hoping the squirrel crossing the road outside doesn't get flattened by the evil animal-killing vehicles she thinks were engineered for the sole purpose of creating squirrel pancakes. Tori hates math, not because she's not good at it, but simply because it is not important to her. Though fractions are surely important for any of the sciences - including veterinary medicine, which is what Tori wants to be involved in when she grows up - Tori simply doesn't see the connection right now (the blissful ignorance we all enjoyed as children). It's difficult to watch Tori's antics, knowing the time she spends on her homework is often greater than is required, and not smile at this happy child who finds joy in everything - including setting aside her math homework to see what Spongebob is up to on Nickolodean, even though she knows that homework comes before t.v.

Market Crisis

2008-10-10T09:18:00.001-07:00

I have a couple of observations regarding the economic downturn in which most of the world's economically developed countries find themselves at present.

It could have been avoided. I don't care to delve into the political details and biased arguments being lobbed like grenades across the political isles in Congress (nobody wants to take any responsibility), but suffice it to say that the catalyst, at least for America's financial crisis, seems to be the mortgage lending debacle perpetrated by lenders Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. (There are more; however, these are two of the most prominent.) Many Congressmen conveniently forget that several politicians listened to what keen investors were warning in 2003 regarding the ease with which loans were being approved. The warning signs were there; appreciation rates were growing at alarming levels (my house doubled in value in two years); the number of high-risk loans skyrocketed; and the economy was teetering on the brink of recession since the invasion of Iraq. Not to mention the fact that there was intense pressure from Congress on mortgage lenders to continue to "get people into homes" unless they wanted to suffer regulatory investigations into their lending practices and be labeled "discriminatory". As the election draws near it seems Congress would like to focus strictly on laying blame rather than looking for answers and the real reasons for this apparent mess. Republicans can blame Democrats; Democrats can blame Republicans; but the simple fact is, no one party can be blamed for the crisis, if "crisis" is even the right term. At the heart of the problem is greed, a characteristic of the human heart that knows no political allegiance.
The Average Investor is Fickle. Sell-offs such as we've seen this entire week are the result of panic. Dont' investors listen to their advisors? Why not collectively calm down and ride out what seemed two weeks ago to be an economic problem quarantined to a small segment of the economic market - real estate, at least in the United States (and Iceland for that matter). The dubious bailout just passed a few days ago has yet to be implemented and yield the lofty results the financial "experts" of the American Congress have promised. Come-on "Joe Investor", take a deep breath and remember that the economy is cyclical; we should expect economic upswings and declines (which are also mostly cause by the fickle investor) - in fact the NASDAQ peak in 1999 should have generated much more cause for concern (it was the only index that was surging for a year and a half before the blue chip meltdown). But this is not really what I wanted to talk about.

We can gripe and complain about our financial losses this week; I suppose we have a right to. But, what good is it going to do us? My two retirement funds have slipped considerably this past week, but I'm not worried. Sure, it calls for prudence and diligence when evaluating continued investment, which funds to invest in, and whether it's wise to pull out entirely (which I, as a software engineer, wouldn't recommend - that's a joke, by the way). Perhaps, as believers in the only true source of assurance, Jesus Christ, we can correlate our worry factor to the amount of trust we place in the American dollar. Shouldn't we be so bold as to examine ourselves at this time and consider where our faith and allegiance truly lie?

In addition to our own self-examination, Christians need to be poised and ready to be Jesus Christ to the world right now - just as at any other time. Those without Him don't have anywhere to turn if panic is where they find themselves. Let's demonstrate, display, and describe the true riches of eternity - that of Jesus Christ. I'm not predicting a panic, but simply reminding (myself mostly) us that it is "for such a time as this" that "letting our light shine" applies most emphatically. Scripture is full of opportunities that were "ripe" for harvest - this could be an opportunity like that. Iceland is ripe right now as they are experiencing financial instability, many in the population first-hand. It's a small country and countries like it feel the effects more quickly when it's GDP isn't as diversified as larger countries. May God lead us all into this harvest ready and willing to follow His lead that He may be glorified.

Wholly Yours

2008-10-09T18:37:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite songs at present is David Crowder's "Wholly Yours". You can check it out here, but the better version, in my opinion is the "Wholly Yours - B Variant" on the B Collision album, which is acoustic and they use a sweet-sounding banjo, which they really bring out strongly at the end of the song.

The impact of the acoustic version is found in it's subtle ascent to the lyrical crescendo uninterrupted by the ringing and banging of the extra instruments - not that there's anything wrong with that. Just a preference on this one.

Late Night Rambling - Half Asleep

2008-10-07T06:10:00.001-07:00

My God and awesome savior
With explicit words I do approach
Bar me not from your presence
As I dare your throne to encroach
Your words are words of wisdom
Your songs the sound of praise
By your word all was created
And in power your Son was raised
With such truths on my failing lips
How can I hope to place
By the power of the resurrection
My trust in merciful saving grace
Burn your subject through and through
And like Job I hope to tell
As I'm refined through the fire
Though I die, it will be well.

Day 5 - No Coffee

2008-10-06T10:59:00.000-07:00

This is incredibly easier than I had expected. I guess the fact that I've reduced my daily coffee intake from about six cups per day last year down to one or two per day for the last several months my dependence has lessened significantly. I'd also like to point out that this isn't necessarily a break from caffeine, though the tea I've been drinking is decaffeinated, and the dependence is certainly caffeine-related, but I've enjoyed a soda or two over the last few days and I don't have any intention really of eliminating caffeine from my diet, especially since the volume is fairly low. I've been drinking coffee since I was about twelve years old and I can't really remember a day I've been without it - except on some extended field exercises in the military when coffee was a rare commodity. I would simply like coffee to be less involved in my daily routine each morning; there are other choices, and I think this will even intensify the enjoyment of my favorite Sumatran roast when I do feel the desire to enjoy a cup. That reminds me - I need to delay my next shipment.

"Tori Time" and Run-ins

2008-10-04T05:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a day of "run-ins". The Pelts and I have been trying to set some time aside to do dinner, but it hasn't seemed to work out. I seem to keep forgetting to email Jason with a suitable day that fits my schedule, but all was not lost. Last night as Tori and I enjoyed our bread bowls at Panera (Tori had the creamy tomato, and I the french onion), in walk 3 Pelts - Jason, Tracee and Jillian (the other two were off playing with friends). So, we finally had dinner together including good conversation about food, good speakers and books. I don't think we'll count this as our official dinner together - they're great company - but it was quite enjoyable nonetheless.

After dinner, Tori and I ventured over to our usual Friday night hangout, Borders. We each grabbed a few books and chilled in the plush leather chairs in the cafe. (I'd like to make note here of a rather strange gentlemen sitting across from me reading some recent historical works on George Washington and the Revolution. His reading experience appeared to be pretty engrossing, since every so often he would take his index finger and excitedly jab it into the text of the book he was reading. He apparently agreed with whatever the author had to say and didn't mind too much looking, umm, "eccentric" in the middle of the Borders cafe.) As Tori and I made our way to the front door we stumbled upon Mildred Thomas and Leona Gray, or is it "Grey"? - not sure. We talked for a bit while Tori perused the enticing array of childrens features strategically placed near the front door all the while performing her best Irish tap. I thought she had to pee, but she said matter-of-factly, "No, I'm just dancing." I guess eccentricity is contageous.

Flashback - JPB tribute

2008-10-03T08:21:00.001-07:00

I often use the music site Pandora when I'm working at home. It's nice to be able to create your own radio stations based on music you like. However, the site occasionally throws something into your station that's a complete misfit of a song based on the preferences you select.

How Petra got shuffled into my Derek Webb station I'll never know, but that was an unpleasant flashback. Click that link at your own peril.

Day 2 - No Coffee

2008-10-03T07:49:00.000-07:00

I've found that I enjoy tea - many different kinds. It seems it may easily become a substitute addiction. I'll try not to let that happen, though.

I don't have the headache I had yesterday. Maybe this won't be so bad.

No Coffee for Thirty Days

2008-10-02T08:50:00.000-07:00

Day 1 - I need help! My head feels like an orange slowly splitting open under the pressure of someone's hands that aren't entirely strong enough to open it.

It gets easier as the days go by, right?

Freedom

2008-10-02T07:02:00.000-07:00

As soon as I left my house this morning I knew something was wrong. I sat at the intersection just a few blocks from my house for about twenty minutes. Not long after turning the radio on, I found out there were accidents all over the place and it would likely take me three hours to get into D.C. this morning. Two words - "Not happenin'".

Back when I was in the military, there wouldn't have been a question about sitting in traffic for so long since duty is duty and one's duty location dictates when and where one must be. However, now that my hours are precious, three hours commuting would necessarily need recouping sometime during the month. It's nice to have the freedom to say "I'm working from home today" and, of course, have the ability to as well. Some people aren't so lucky - the nature of what they do requires they travel in to work and put the hours in - though some of those folks spend most of their working hours near the water cooler or conducting social experiments in the confines of the central nervous system of the nation's military. (I'm okay with those who spend a few minutes basking in the glory of a Cowboys implosion at the hands of the Redskins, and proclaiming such news to hopelessly blind, bandwagon Cowboys fans who seem to have short term memory loss. That kind of work distraction is acceptable.)

More Household Expenses

2008-10-01T06:04:00.000-07:00

After shelling out $6,000 for a new heating and cooling system in my house a few weeks ago, I discovered I now have a leaking hot water heater. It was about as old as the furnace I replaced, so it's not like it wasn't expected. I would rather have had this happen a little later though. None of us are fans of unexpected expenses. Fortunately, this one won't be as costly as the last.

Whom do you seek?

2008-09-30T11:18:00.000-07:00

Kids Say Part II

2008-09-27T07:39:00.000-07:00

I had the joy of hearing another hilarious quote from Cierra this morning. As we all were busy with our Saturday morning chores - laundry, cleaning, vacuuming - I watched as Cierra walked some of her folded clothes to her room. She rounding a corner in the hallway, and I heard a disgusted "Ugh!" I looked and saw she dropped her carefully folded (she's very meticulous) clothes on the floor after bumping in the wall (must be a depth perception problem). I asked her what happened, to which she replied:

"Stupid gravity!"

Kids Say...

2008-09-27T05:51:00.001-07:00

Here's the latest installment of "My Kids Say the Darndest Things":

Cierra, my eleven year old, is beginning to develop some idea of career goals, albeit somewhat romantically inspired by movies such as National Treasure inducing a desire for archaeological discovery, or Nim's Island that presented the imaginative entertainment of writing. She has many, many more thoughts of what she'd like to become in addition to winning Olympic Gold in gymnastics in either 4 or 8 years, depending on the age restrictions at the time, but lately she's even mentioned more compassionate aspirations such as travelling to Africa to help needy children like her cousin Christina who is in Nairobi now for the next two months. Yesterday afternoon, on the way to gymnastics practice she and her friend and fellow gymnast, Maddi, again began to discuss their respective goals for the future and Cierra mentioned one I hadn't heard before:

"I want to make quilts for the homely."

If you receive a quilt from Cierra sometime in the near future, try not to take it as an insult.

Does it make you think? Cry?

2008-09-26T07:04:00.001-07:00

Off to Africa

2008-09-23T05:29:00.000-07:00

Pray for my cousin Christina as she is heading out on a mission trip to Africa in three days. If you're interested in following her experience, she's maintaining a blog here (cldowker.wordpress.com). She's says she'll have dial-up access and will post updates two or three times a week. I think it'll be nice for her to receive additional encouragement as well, if you have the opportunity.

God is Good!

2008-09-16T17:28:00.000-07:00

Nuff said, right? Piper often exclaims his disbelief at God's continual outpouring of blessing to us undeserving creatures. I have experienced this often in my time as a believer - most recently yesterday. For eight months my allergies have left me almost breathless; yesterday, I was speechless.

A full two months before my scheduled annual review, the two executives of the small company for which I work called me into an office unexpectedly. They proceeded to affirm my involvement in key initiatives of the business and announced a salary increase on the spot. I can't say how much this meant to me - not the money, but the affirmation of diligence. The past two months have been a struggle as I've manned two projects alone as our development shop is undermanned, including one peer out on maternity leave. I've had nagging thoughts of shortcomings as I've allowed small, but no less important, deadlines to slip by a few days - the ever-present musings of a perfectionist. It was time to get re-focused on the big picture, the long-term strategy of the company, the continued success we deliver to our customers.

Upon leaving the military five years ago and entering the "salaried" world where money is often considered the great incentive, I made it clear to both my current employer and the previous one that money would never be a carrot to dangle in front of me to draw out excellent performance. True, that can be a double-edged sword in the hands of a ruthless, cutthroat employer looking to save some dough, but it's been both a relief and a blessing for me. A blessing in the sense that God continues to bless materially above and beyond expectations. A relief in the sense that my company understands my job satisfaction doesn't come from my paycheck, but from good stewardship in my responsibilities, knowing that I work for a company espousing high ethical standards, and a hope for a sense of significance. That last one is difficult as a software developer. I've had way too many days in which I've left my building thinking, "What did those 300 lines of code do to further the kingdom?", or, "What else could I have spent that time doing rather than making my company additional revenue?" These ideas are short-sighted.

God sees our diligence and perseverance; in fact, it's Him who is working in us producing these qualities for His good pleasure (Phil. 2:13). The world sees it too. God has placed us where He's placed us for reasons sometimes only known to Him - which is certainly true in my case at the present time. Doing what I do, the moments are few in which discussion diverges from bits, bytes, sorting algorithms, and agile development, to the ethereal; and I have to often settle for the bigger picture - a bargain between (humanly speaking) the intangible and tangible efforts of Christian witness. Rather than as a fire hose of Christian apologetics, perhaps I, and others in my boat, are more like a dripping faucet slowly eroding the porcelain of pragmatism and empiricism, and etching a pathway for plausibly ethical human conduct leading to strong foundations of virtue, the cornerstone of which is Jesus Christ! May this not be an overstatement.

80 is no good

2008-09-16T17:24:00.000-07:00

...for a best ball golf tournament. I had some great shots, I had some bad shots. Everyone on the team contributed; we made one birdie; the rest I believe was somewhat of an even split between pars and bogeys - no doubles! Putting was superb - 1 or 2 putts, no 3s. All in all, it was a beautiful day for golf at Andrews AFB.

If anyone's interested in going some time, let me know. My back is finally in a condition that my swing isn't painful.

Do you love me?

2008-09-11T20:15:00.000-07:00

"Simon Peter, do you love me?"

This question, asked by Jesus three times after his resurrection and before his ascension into Heaven, bores into my soul every time I read it, hear it read, or contemplate its importance. It brings me to tears as I sense Peter's anguish over hearing this question from his Lord, hearing it three times, hearkening back to his threefold denial of Jesus. Not only did Peter earnestly express his love for his savior, but also, many years later, insist on inverted crucifixion (so tradition teaches) as he felt unworthy to be crucified in the same manner as Christ. What love!

Where were you?

2008-09-11T03:25:00.000-07:00

Where were you this day seven years ago? I was sitting in a classroom at the Non-Commissioned Officers Academy at Fort Jackson, South Carolina. The entire class had just settled in to another long day of lecturing when our lead instructor entered the room and informed us of what took place in New York and D.C. For some in the room, it was a terrifying moment, as they were either from or had family near the locations of the attacks. My ex-wife worked at the State Department at the time, so I was fairly sure she was safe. However, I did have friends working at the Pentagon, and it was later in the week when I discovered, as I watched a list of casualties from the Pentagon scrolling down the screen on CNN, that my good friend Craig Amundsen, husband and father of two small children, died immediately when a plane struck the Pentagon the morning of the 11th. It was difficult not being home to be there for his family as they suffered tremendously for four days not knowing Craig's fate. In the time since, I've lost touch with his family as they've moved back to their hometown in Iowa. His son, Elliot, is now 11; and daughter, Charlotte, is 9. It's unpleasant to think of his children growing up without him since he cared for them greatly, and from what I could tell, was a great dad who loved to be with his kids.

Road Trip

2008-09-05T08:21:00.000-07:00

I'm heading to Charlotte for the weekend to attend my aunt's 50th birthday party and for a little golf on Saturday. It should be an enjoyable weekend, though Hurricane Hannah may dump some rain on the golf course. I'm not too worried; Charlotte is 200 miles inland, so all we'll likely get is some rain and possible thunder storms if the thrust of the storm comes inland, which isn't too likely. We'll see.

This will be a nice getaway since I haven't taken a vacation this year. Next year's plans are coming together nicely, though. I'm planning a two week trip to Ireland with the Burkes and our good friend Myla Thomas. I've been all over Europe but never to any of the islands off its western coast. If you've been to Ireland, and have some recommendations for places to see or things to do, let me know. We've got about six months left to plan the trip before we purchase our packages. I can't wait.

Milestones

2008-09-02T04:54:00.000-07:00

The girls are off to school this morning - Cierra to middle school, Tori into the 4th grade. Both are very excited, although for Cierra I think it's for the fact that she gets a locker this year. Though we as adults may shrug off events like this in the lives of our kids as just another day, middle school to them (and I would certainly say me as well) represents one of those crowning milestones for which they are thinking "we made it". Sure, finishing the previous year at the top of the food chain in elementary school only to be the "new kids on the block" in junior high presents its challenges, but they are in fact in junior high and the immediate sense of growing up just a little bit more sparks motivation and joy in the life of a pre-teen they hadn't likely experienced since entering school for the first time at five years old. As they reach new milestones in the near future - high school, sixteenth birthday, graduation - I think the experience of joy and achievement becomes exponentially greater, as does the bitter sweetness each parent experiences during those times as well. Cherish the moment; capture that smile on your son or daughter's face as they march on their new path full of opportunities; and shed a tear as they pour all their energy into overcoming the fit of butterflies they have in their stomachs. Those are moments no camera can capture like your mind; let your souls ingrain the rush of emotion attached to those memories.

A Day of Golf

2008-08-30T14:39:00.001-07:00

I hit the links today with Bobby O. It wasn't pretty - for either of us. My shots at the driving range weren't too bad; but once I got on the course, I couldn't get my ball to go straight to save my life. I had a few nice approach shots, and plenty of 20 yard or so chip-ons to within 5 feet of the cup, but not a single tee shot landed in the fairway. It's good to get some of these kinks ironed out now; I'm playing in a tournament at Andrews with my company in two weeks to benefit the Wounded Warrior Project. Fortunately, it's best ball.

Josh Takes Requests

2008-08-23T17:21:00.001-07:00

In the vein of great music, as Jonathan loves to post regarding the 80s, I have a good one. To give you some background, or the "why" behind this post, I've been going through some simple guitar lessons online at a great site. The song I'm presently learning is "Horse With No Name", by America. I needed to get the rhythm for the song, so I youtube'd it and found this also. Next time you see Josh with his Rickenbacker, tell him to play this song. I think his guitar was made for it.

Matchmakers of the world...

2008-08-15T05:07:00.000-07:00

... give it a rest!

"Why aren't you dating?" "You're just bitter." "You still love her." "Are you gay?" "Hey, there's this girl you should meet." "You'll get back together with your ex; God told me!" "I thought you might like to meet so-and-so, so I got her number for you." "You know who you should date?"

These are just a few of the comments I hear occasionally from friends, acquaintances, co-workers or relatives - believers and unbelievers alike. How do I respond, you may ask? That depends. Before I answer that question, I must point out that I've spent many years contemplating the nature of relationships; the beautiful and the not-so-beautiful, the ideal and the not-so-ideal. It is with no shortage of reflection that I now answer questions or comments such as those above, and most often my answers fall on deaf ears - what can the fish in a pond know about the blissful expanse yet imminent terror of the ocean.

In hearing these statements, many on multiple occasions, it's become quite simple to generalize the motives behind them. Most of them share similar assumptions; all of them, in my opinion, under girded by subtle, culturally constructed themes. The charges of bitterness, lingering love for my ex-wife, or the flippant indictment of homosexuality are the typical, uninformed retorts to my response to the question "Why aren't you dating?" - which is simply that dating is not the priority for me. The idea that I could simply mean what I say, that I'm using this time for reflection, that pursuing the woman of my dreams is not the highest of pursuits, or that people are dead wrong in thinking I should use my freedom to "sew my oats", strikes most as foolishness. To these I am most understanding, for no amount of spiritual insight will convince those who have not the Spirit. Contending for purity with those who have no reason for purity - a different conversation is required.

It is with less patience, though more is needed, that I deal with the other statements, for they come from brothers and sisters. It never occurs to them that their words are often powered by the same themes as those above - that a single person's priority should be a romantic relationship, that there's something strangely unsettling about a 30 or so year-old guy who's not "looking for love", that because I'm alone I must be unhappy, that rekindled and reconciled romance is worth more than a desire to see someone reconciled to Christ regardless of the ancillary results. (Don't read anything into that!)

To all, I say, there is one desire - that of knowing Christ, for I don't know him as I want to know him. I place nothing above this desire, but don't exclude lesser desires. People have warned me of becoming unapproachable, of being blind to the woman God may want me to meet. That's a road I'm willing to walk. That's not always been true of me. As Townes Van Zandt said, "Aloneness is a state of being, loneliness is a state of mind." They are different (one is being alone, the other having anxiety over supposed or actual aloneness), yet both are rarely found to be human experiences isolated from each other. Seldom, you'll find someone who is content in aloneness, yet not lonely.

After reading all of this, or hearing it in conversation, some may be reenforced in thinking I'm bitter. I would be a liar if I said I didn't harbor some cynicism regarding relationships - actually, it's not relationships, it's the dating process as we've conceived it over the course of the last 70 or 80 years; it's the expectations, the priorities, the timetables, the anxiety, the assumptions. Most people who've experienced divorce come out with exreme pessimism regarding marriage. My views haven't changed much, though they are more refined, as through fire some would say. Romantic love and marriage are two of the greatest human experiences God created, and there are many good reasons laid out in Scripture that I won't get into here, though it can be summarized in the notion that they should mirror Christ's love for his church - sacrificial, selfless and forgiving. I have friends whose marriages are a picture of this and it's shockingly obvious when one is around them, so it's not hard to find.

In summary, I don't write this to offer advice to singles other than what relationships should be (read the last paragraph). I've shared these views with many people and I'd say I'm batting .500 in receptivity. I've come to no conclusive arguments for the way I live my life (that doesn't mean none exist, rather that I can't think of another way to do it), other than knowing there are imperatives given in Scripture - that God should be everything to us, that no desire should be higher, that a man's desire for a woman or a woman's desire for a man are natural and good (God given desires). Whatever the future holds is in God's hands.

"I" and the "Me Monster"

2008-08-12T08:59:00.000-07:00

Here's some stimulating food for thought on the concept of capitalizing the first-person pronoun "I". Read it here.

And here's some stimulating anecdotal commentary on the typical ego centrism prevalent in our culture.

Gotta love living in a townhouse...

2008-08-07T08:03:00.000-07:00

5:00 am - wake up
5:15 am - make coffee
5:30 am - begin weekly software update release for customer - (from home - yes!)
7:00 am - finish software release
7:05 am - head downstairs to start some laundry
7:06 am - hello swimming pool in my basement!
7:10 am - discover minor condensation leak coming from furnace condensation pipe (incredulity sets in; I was in the basement just a day or two ago)
7:30 - 10:30 am - remove wet carpet and padding (this is the second time - gotta be done)
10:45 am - warn neighbor of possible seepage into their basement
10:45:05 am - hear neighbor say - "Oh yeah, our hot water heater burst."

Oh, the joy of living in a townhouse!

Sweet Deals for Sweet Sounds

2008-08-05T10:29:00.001-07:00

I sold my 1973 Martin D-35 guitar a few weeks ago and was thus left guitar-less. The reason behind this was simply for the fact that old guitars like that require a good deal of maintenance to keep them in good condition and I was not interested in continually spending a considerable amount of money to do that every year. It was none other than Josh Burke that tipped me off to that guitar and it was an incredible find; and so it was with a certain amount of deja vous a couple of weeks ago when Josh called to inform me of yet another sweet deal at Guitar Center.

I picked this baby up Sunday after playing it in the store and checking it over for any defects over the course of about two weeks. I really couldn't get its sound out of my head, and the sunburst top is something I've wanted in a guitar ever since I discovered Martin's own unique version - it doesn't flare out toward the edges too far. This guitar was definitely a steal; I acquired it for about half the price it should have gone for.

By the way, its a Martin 000-18GE 1937 - a throwback to the 1937 version of the 000-18. Beauty. That's all I can say.

Provolone

2008-08-05T08:28:00.000-07:00

Regular provolone - good. Sharp provolone - bad, very bad. I sliced the package open and was punched in the face by the odor. It took me back to Naples a few years ago when I frequented a small hole-in-the-wall restaurant located down an alley (the kind that usually have the best food). The food was spectacular, but the cheese platter ordered by one of the guys I was with cleared the table.

Cierra tried it, and the look on her face was priceless.

Exceeded Expectations

2008-08-03T16:41:00.001-07:00

Isn't God amazing? What started out a few months ago as an idea for a general fundraiser with low expectations for involvement and spectator turnout, really morphed into something beyond my initial idea. Interest and excitement increased exponentially as the weeks passed, new teams entered the fray, and trash talking began - with a little help from Josh Burke combined with short shorts one Sunday morning in church. The planning aspect of the tournament really wasn't all that difficult; the hard part was ensuring there was interest in this kind of event. I spent a couple of months talking about it, getting a general feel for people's initial thoughts, and wondering the whole time how big this thing could really be. What better motivation than a ground-breaking mission trip to reach people with the gospel - people who may never before have heard the good news of Jesus Christ?

Really, the purpose of this post is to shower thanks on everyone who jumped into this with me - from the teams who wanted to play just to be part of it to the great attitudes of the athletes and the "not-so" athletes. The thanks I received last night and today from Clint and Pastor Bill really must be extended to everyone that played, helped, participated and whatever else was done last night that I didn't see since I was on the court trying to relive the glory days of high school (I realize I don't see the court like I used to).

Thanks to Brittany and Alyssa Thomlison who, though they looked terrified at the idea of running the popcorn machine, did a very nice job with the single batch that came through and selling drinks. Thanks to Jadey Burke for managing the front table, collecting funds, handing out raffle tickets and counting all the money at the end. Your organizational skills will be a hot commodity for future events. Thanks to Lindsey Quann, Kristen Marks, and Kevin Benedict for volunteering your photography skills to get shots of the action taking place on and off the court. Lastly, the night would not have been as entertaining both for the players and those in attendance if it weren't for the great MC skills Mr. Jason Pelt. (I've given a number of presentations and briefs in the past and think I've developed some better than average skills at oratory, but I would be completely lost behind a microphone at an event such as we had last night.) Jason - I've said it to you about fifteen times since last night - thanks again.

There are definitely more of you out there and I apologize if I've left you out. This event was bigger than me - bigger than all of us. But doesn't this event, and the PITS event a few weeks ago, demonstrate what God is capable of? We all see needs, whether they're in the midst of our church body, or simply in our communities. When we see those needs, and voice a concern that something needs to be done, what are we waiting for? What are you waiting for? This event far exceeded my expectations, and I have to think it was God that produced the results.

Volunteers Covered

2008-07-31T06:18:00.000-07:00

Update on volunteers for the tournament. Brittany and Alyssa Thomason have volunteered to cover concessions (thanks girls). Jadey Burke, with her supreme organizational skills, will cover meet-and-greet at the door, accepting donations as people walk in and distributing raffle tickets. Jadey, that sounds like a lot, so I'll help you with this as much as I can and will also grab someone that didn't realize they wanted to volunteer. All in all, I think we have all the positions covered. I realized the games on each court can be monitored by players not in the games occurring at any given time. I don't think we'll have any trouble in getting things to run smoothly.

Thanks to everyone whose helped to bring this tournament together. It's worked out nicely.

Volunteers Needed

2008-07-30T09:59:00.000-07:00

Okay folks. I've asked for volunteers several times now, and I'm still getting a deer-in-the-headlights look when I do it. We're getting down to the wire and the tournament is going to need some folks to help ensure it runs smoothly. I'll be doing a lot of the setup work beforehand, however, since I'll be playing in the tournament (and, along with my fellow bruisers, stomping the competition) there are some positions that need to be filled.

someone to make popcorn and sell refreshments (maybe a two-person job)
someone to greet people at the door, accept donations and sell raffle tickets
two people to moderate the games (one on each court); this involves keeping time and transitioning from one game to the next

I'm here if you have any questions of what may be required of you; but really, it's not rocket science.

I'd like to point out that these positions aren't all that demanding; i.e. you won't miss out on any of the fun events courtside. My intent here is to ensure we have a fun-filled, organized event that ensures us of accomplishing what we set out to do - bring in some additional funds for the mission trip to Indonesia. If you feel so inclined to volunteer, just post a comment or send me an email - kdowker@gmail.com

Empty house...

2008-07-29T18:28:00.000-07:00

...it's quiet in here.

All Girl Team Enters 3 on 3 Basketball Tournament!

2008-07-29T04:53:00.000-07:00

I was actually waiting for some girls to sign up, and we finally have the first all-girl team in the tournament. They're calling themselves "The Long Shots", and you can discover for yourselves who makes up this team here.

There are currently 9 teams signed up now, with a 10th on the way. The first 8 teams were matched up against their opponents for the first round just the other night. Additional teams will be matched as they enter. I'll post the official bracket on the tournament website for everyone to see very soon.

This is getting exciting!

Nothing Specific

2008-07-28T09:49:00.000-07:00

Just trying to avoid PeltLaw probation.

Some rambling notes:

chaos is not your friend
patience is easier when you deal in rational terms
patience seems elusive in the face of irrationality, so be still
the butterfly effect works like centrifugal force - you better watch out!

PBJ has entered the Gymnasium

2008-07-22T07:16:00.001-07:00

It's official folks! Pastor Bill Jessup has officially entered the 3 on 3 basketball tournament. I received his registration just 5 minutes ago. Game on!

Exhausting But Rewarding

2008-07-21T20:45:00.000-07:00

This weekend was one of the toughest I've had on record. I drove more than I slept - 28 hours driving, 14 hours sleeping. Not a good ratio.

Friday started out easy enough. I left much earlier than I had to in order to pick up Tori from her camp in North Carolina; it was Friday, so I wanted to get a jump on the crazy beach-goers. I also thought I could stop and take pictures along the way if I spotted anything interesting - like this while driving in southern Virginia. Whatever it was, it created lots of smoke.

Before I got too far though, I decided to make a stop in Fredericksburg, and see if Pickers still had the guitar I'm planning on purchasing near the end of the month. I arrived about 45 minutes before they opened, but just as I began walking away, up walked the new violin expert recently employed at Pickers. We got to talking about guitars, his experience in music, and a host of other topics. After a brief stint on the subject of politics, our discussion settled on the subject of world views for some time. We talked about economics, the commoditization of experience, and a little of the philosophy under girding some of these things. As riviting as these subjects can be, it was easy to segway into more important topics - like spirituality and "religion". We didn't stay there long, as he had to get into work, but I can see this developing into a longer conversation over time - prayers needed here.

Since Pickers wasn't technically open yet, I had the pleasure of walking around downtown, watching the shops open for the day, merchants bringing tables out to the sidewalk, and people walking their small pets through the quaint, quiet town. I stopped by Eileen's bakery for a bite, brought it outside and sat at a table in front of another establishment.

As I sat there enjoying my chorizo and egg wrap (mmm) and apple juice, I spotted a homeless lady walking up the sidewalk in my direction. She stopped within fifteen feet of me, looked me up and down, and then stared off into the distance not paying me any attention. She looked tired, hungry, and anxious. I said good morning to her with a smile on my face, which I guess surprised her a bit, since she looked in my direction with one eyebrow raised, the other frowning, wondering what I could possibly want. She uttered a cautious hello, with the undertones of "what do you want" seeping through just a bit. Since I was alone at a table with three empty seats, I told her to come sit down and take a rest. We talked for a few minutes - about where she was from, what brought her to Fredericksburg, and where she was going. All in all it was a pleasant conversation, as I watched her uneasiness melt away the longer we talked. Of course, the bitterness she feels in light of her situation is not something that could so easily pass.

After giving her some money so she could get some breakfast, I mentioned a couple of churches where she could get assistance with clothing and food. She offered a not so optomistic "thank you", but appreciated the offer and my desire to pray for her. Her name is Ruby, and I know that God uses even the quickest of conversations, the smallest of gestures, to tug at the hearts of people. She is in great need, physically and spiritually, and I would ask that you pray for her.

What is amazing about that whole experience that Friday morning is the fact that I typically don't alter my plans in such a capricious way. My plans were clearly laid out - drive to North Carolina to pick up Tori. As methodical and predictable as I am, stopping in Fredericksburg in spite of my plans, was completely out of character for me. However, I have been praying for boldness and opportunity. In fact, that very morning - in my car as I approached 95 from 610 - I remember uttering words in a petition to God to give me opportunities to share his good news. Even as fresh as that memory was in my mind when I saw the exit for 17, my sole intent was focused on a guitar, but God had greater plans. God's detours. Amazing.

My prayer is that God's grace will be revealed to these two individuals, whether through me or someone else with whom they come in contact. To be continued...

Official Rules Posted

2008-07-21T20:10:00.001-07:00

I've posted the official rules for the 3 on 3 tournament and grudge matches. If you've been wondering how this thing is gonna go down - you can check out the rules here. Just go to appropriate page to look at the attached file.

Once all team entries have been collected, teams will be selected at random and placed in an appropriate tournament bracket location on the master tournament board. There will be two courts running games at a time - which means four teams playing at any give time. As you'll note in the official rules, each game will run until a team reaches 15 points, or when the 15 minute time limit is reached.

I haven't decided whether to have grudge matches in between 3 on 3 tournament games or to have them played at the end of the three on three tournament -I'm leaning toward the former. Your thoughts? If so, then we'll ensure that those in grudge matches have ample resting time in between team games, and thus will be scheduled accordingly.

The fundraising is going well thus far. We currently have $60 raised in raffle ticket sales, and $240 projected for tournament registration fees. I have several people that have offered to sell raffle tickets in their neighborhoods, jobs, etc. so if you feel so inclined, I'll be happy to give you some raffle tickets to sell. That IPOD Nano sounds really appealing to a lot of folks, as do the other prizes.

7 Teams and Counting...

2008-07-21T18:16:00.000-07:00

We've got 7 teams and counting for the basketball tournament, everyone. Jason Pelt is the latest foo.., I mean brave contestant to throw his hat into the mix, along with his brave teammates Bryan Scott and Robert Marks. Remember to leave your Instinct on the court side, Jason, as looking for legal loopholes in this "court" room may not prove as beneficial.

Miles and Stories

2008-07-18T03:55:00.000-07:00

I'll be putting close to 1500 miles on my car this weekend - whew! If I had my new Blackberry I'm planning on purchasing later this year, I could do a little mobile blogging - a la Jason Pelt. Last week, on my way back from N.C. where I dropped Tori off at her horseback riding camp, I came across some interesting sights:

a one-room school house (apparently kept in great condition by the local community)
beautiful, small churches dotting the countryside near Efland, N.C. and along some of the back roads I took through Virginia on my way home
outhouses - yep they still exist (knowledge of their existence is reaching that of the fabled Sasquatch)

So many miles of forced solitude can be good for the soul - I'm looking forward to it. I've driven across most of this country - Texas to Michigan, Texas to California, Michigan to Virginia, Virginia to Boston, and Virginia to South Carolina - and I don't think it ever gets old (well, unless you happen across an unexpected construction zone).

We live in a beautiful country with a rich history painted on the walls of buildings lining the many impersonal roads highlighted in our road atlases. Each of the small towns invaded by our superhighways have stories to tell - and sometimes just driving through them can give you a glimpse into their successes, struggles, highlights and downturns - the rusted machine parts laying on the property of a once-booming factory; a country store fighting to regain it's long-gone thriving existence before the advent of the supermarket; the men, women and children living humbly in places that beckon our attention to heroic ancestors who fought in our country's epic battl es.

B-Ball and Indonesia

2008-07-16T05:27:00.000-07:00

Just talked to Clint yesterday regarding the state of funds for the mission trip. There is still a considerable amount of money to raise. There are some big fundraisers coming up that should help with this, namely the yard sale at the end of the month, the 26th I believe - which should bring in a good amount. Right now, I don't consider the basketball tournament a "huge" fundraising opportunity, but I'm soliciting your ideas to make it so. I'm just the organizer on this thing; I've never organized a fundraiser (I've played in a bunch of 3 on 3 tournaments - never organized one), so, if you have ideas to make this thing more successful then send me your ideas - I won't feel usurped in the least. The raffle is going to bring in a good portion of funds; the registration fees for teams and players is currently projected to bring in close to $200, with the 5 teams we presently have signed up and two players for grudge matches.

Bobby will be selling raffle tickets to the youth tonight; I've given Clint a bunch of raffle tickets to make available at Pillar; and tickets will also be available after service on Sunday at SBC. I'm expecting a few more teams to sign up; and I've heard a few people talking about signing up for grudge matches. This will bring in more money, but I'd like to encourage folks to sign up as soon as possible so we can get somewhat of an accurate projection on what we'll bring in in tournament fees.

One thing I'm considering is calling Todd Gaston over at Mt. Ararat to drum up some interest in the tournament. Maybe we can get him to field a team of staff members to play some SBC members. However, since Mt. Ararat has such a huge body, this could prove a little overwhelming.

Another thing I'd like you all to do (for those of you who read this thing) is continue to tell people about the tournament - especially the raffle, since it's an easy way for people to get involved but don't necessarily want to participate. Talk to friends and family, point them to the website (http://sbc3on3.weebly.com/) (btw, people don't have to pay up front - as long as they pay their registration fees sometime before the tournament), blog about it, put an ad and link on your blogs or websites, and perhaps you could volunteer in some capacity.

Lastly, pray! I believe it was George Whitfield or Jonathan Edwards who said, as Christians, we should be living our lives as if we're continually on the cusp of great movements of God. The mission to Indonesia could be one of those events. The team heading out on this trip will be speaking with presently unreached people groups with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Isn't that awesome?!? I feel incredibly privileged to be associated with such a high endeavor that God has placed on the hearts of those involved - even if it's on the periphery. At other such stages preceding some great movements in the history of Christianity, I'm sure there were some folks who felt indifferent, expecting that such a movement would never occur because "it was too big", or people "didn't feel moved to get involved". Consider the nature of such an attitude and it's tendency to produce a self-fulfilling prophecy; let's not ooze into a state of apathy, but consider what imperatives Christ has communicated to each of us.

I know we're only 2 1/2 weeks out from the date of the tournament, but I believe there is plenty of time - and God is brilliant in his timing.

If you hear cheering...

2008-07-15T12:11:00.000-07:00

... sometime around 6:00 this evening, it will be me as my cat, Angel, departs for another, presently danderless, home (her next victim) here in the Stafford community. Said victim will keep Angel for the next two weeks until my ex-wife returns from her deployment when she takes Angel into her home; but those are just the details. What's really important to me is the fact that I can now begin erasing the cat's existence from my home and, hopefully, soon enjoy a breath of clean air from which the oxygen will flow smoothly to and through my lungs and eliminate my daily morning headache, shortness of breath, and coughing.

The girls will be happy too, for they left for camp thinking that Angel would be gone by the time they returned. I sent letters off to both of them today informing them of the good news. Tori will be excited that she gets to keep her pet.

3 Teams and Counting

2008-07-14T12:26:00.001-07:00

We've got three teams signed up for the 3 on 3 tournament! If you haven't signed up yet (chicken) then do so here. If you're worried about gettin' beat, maybe the prospect of playing a 33 year old, former basketball player, who had back surgery two years ago, with questionable knee mobility, may instill some sort of incentive and boost your confidence. (I'm also suffering from cat-induced asthma!)

Don't have enough for a team? That's okay. Find an opponent to play in a grudge match.

Still not interested? Maybe you should leave the court to the big boys and just buy some raffle tickets.

Just Tori and Daddy...

2008-07-10T18:42:00.000-07:00

It's just been me and Tori this week. Cierra's up in Pennsylvania enjoying gymnastics camp, learning advanced skills, meeting Olympic stars, driving dune buggies, swimming, and all that jazz. Tori and I have had an uneventful week - a movie night earlier in the week, some origami (really difficult), and a little Yahtzee. The highlight of the week so far was sushi last night, which is something I find truly unique to the Dowker household. I don't know many kids the age of my girls who eat the stuff and enjoy it as much as they do. Tori had her fill last night, scarfing away at a small dish that included a California roll, eel, shrimp, salmon, and tuna.

Just two more days and then Tori is off to camp herself - down to North Carolina for horseback riding. As the day approaches Tori is finding it more and more difficult to contain her excitement. Tonight was also "packing night", which really only amounted to ensuring she has all the supplies she needs to attend camp, and that we don't have any surprises on Saturday when she really packs up all her things.

When Tori returns, her mom will be back, and my house will be empty, save for myself and a cat for whom I can't find a home. The girls will spend most of August with their mom as she gets settled back in to home life after a very long deployment. I don't know what to think this week. This is really the final week of being a full time dad, and it hasn't really hit me yet. As I look back over the last two years, I shrug my shoulders at the thought of opportunities lost, whether they were teachable moments I didn't recognize until too late, opportunities for love and compassion that a dad's eyes seem to overlook in the midst of a busy schedule, or a need for patience a former soldier with a penchant for structure and punctuality misses completely. I see tears in my memory that were unnecessary and avoidable; I see fear in eyes that were looking for the security a child can often only get in the arms of her daddy who doesn't mind the extra flailing legs in his bed.

Oh, for the grace of God that overshadows our failures and reminds us that his love is immeasureable and blots out our stains. If only one thing remains from the influence and opportunity I've had these past two years in my daughters' lives, I pray it is sacrificial love modeled after that of Christ. Of the dross that remains, if it is only the girls' memory of my "man hands" as I brushed their hair a little too roughly, my inability to french braid, my striving for the immovable ponytail, or my lack of fashion sense; then I think I'll be alright. My love for them, and surprise trips to Busch Gardens, will remain a staple.

Psalm 23 Redux

2008-07-09T06:02:00.001-07:00

I read this Psalm for about the millionth time this morning as I enjoyed the beautiful sunrise from my porch. When I've read something multiple times, like this psalm, I try to ask new questions hoping to spark new ideas or discover further inferences from the text I'd not previously discovered. Of course, one must be careful in infering from the explicitness of the text because there is the danger of giving it meaning it does not have (eisegesis).

As I've mentioned to various people recently, grace has been a consistent and recurring theme in my life and in the lives of those around me in recent weeks and months. This morning's reading revealed to me even more the intrinsic theme of grace threaded through all of Scripture. In the Psalm David recounts the many ways in which his Good Shepherd blesses him:

abundance
peace
safety
mercy
love
provision

Here is the main question I asked this morning, which you may not find too profound, but nevertheless aided me in my understanding of the passage - Why? For what reason would God choose to treat his sheep in such a loving way?

From a human perspective, there is none. David does not point to specific meritorious achievements that would result in such treatment. The simple theme of the Psalm is - God does these things. The effect is not preceded by a cause, for God is the cause himself. Grace is the only potential answer to the question, and therefore the only answer.

America's Got Talent

2008-07-08T19:26:00.000-07:00

Hm...

Humans praising humans...

Interesting.

Is there a way to get an hour of your life back?

Where's Doc Brown when you need him?

Quotes from Reformed Perspectives

2008-07-08T04:55:00.000-07:00

Reformed Perspectives is an online magazine that publishes sermons and essays in the reformed tradition that engage the mind as well as the soul. The resources there include writings from many authors spanning the era of the early days of the reformation to today. I often come across amazingly profound quotes that, though sometimes stunningly simple, open up the mind to the depth of God's wisdom. Here's a sample from an article I read this morning called "Being Thankful for Pain":

"To be thankful only for our comforts is to make an idol of this life."

"In the world’s economy, life precedes death; in God’s economy, death precedes life."

"The cross always precedes the crown; desperation always precedes deliverance."

And as David Brainerd, missionary to American Indians in the early 18th century, lay on his deathbed suffering from tuberculosis he was heard crying:

“Oh for Holiness! Oh, for more of God in my soul! Oh, this pleasing pain! It makes my soul press after God.”

Are we ready to recognize that pleasure, comfort and success in this life are not the rods by which we measure God's blessing? Pleasure, happiness, comfort and financial success can certainly be things that God lavishes upon us, but they are not a guarantee. The abundant life of which Jesus spoke is much richer than the temporal and phenomenal. Let us not fall prey to the cultural pressures to live for self as the highest of pursuits, but turn to God for sustenance and nourishment for our souls. Charles Spurgeon suffered most of his adult life with physical ailments, to which he prematurely succumbed, but was often heard thanking God for the pain in his life that forced him to lean solely on God for his provision.

Good Trip and Welcome Surprise

2008-07-07T05:25:00.000-07:00

I had a good road trip yesterday, taking Cierra up to Bartonsville, PA to attend the International Gymnastics Camp. Up until yesterday, I had thought the name a bit overstated but now see that it truly is an international camp. Not only did we see people pulling in from (by their license plates) Canada and all parts of the States, but the staff themselves were from all over the world. The young lady who checked Cierra in was from England and her two cabin counselors are from Ireland and somewhere in Eastern Europe, judging from her accent. The camp's facilities were top notch, which included about 30 cabins containing bunk beds for the campers, full shower and bathroom facilities; sand volleyball courts; a lake; several gym facilities for gymnastics and dancing; and a large "canteen" where the kids can use their spending money to buy gymnastics apparel and other goodies.

I was hoping to get Cierra checked in and walk around the camp with her for thirty minutes or so to help her get acquainted with the place, but she was having none of that. She wanted me out of there as quickly as we came in, which left me feeling a little disapppointed. Cierra tends to get tense in situations like that, with the prospect of meeting new people making her feel a bit overwhelmed. I know how she feels; I was just like that as a boy. But as a dad, it was a little disappointing not being able to share a little more with her in her experience. Oh well! I sent off her first letter this morning, which she should get tomorrow or the next day, so she won't feel completely cut off from home. I remember what it was like to be away from home and the joy of getting mail, or the despair of not getting any when others did. I think she'll appreciate this.

One welcome surprise during the trip came as, while I was perusing our route in the road atlas, I spotted the small, historic town of Nazareth located about 2 miles off our main route to the camp. I vowed to stop back through there on our way back. (Blog Detour! - Nazareth is about 20 miles from Bethlehem, which caused Cierra to look at me with a confused expression and say, "Are you sure we're in Pennsylvania?" I had to assure her that we didn't fly over the Atlantic while she slept during the drive.)

For those of you not familiar with Nazareth or its historic or cultural importance, it is the home of one of, if not the, oldest guitar manufacturing companies in the country - Martin Guitars Inc. As I slipped through the small, colonial town of Nazareth, I played through my mind all the guitars I'd have the pleasure of seeing as I stepped into the newly-built Martin museum - but it was not to be. In my excitement, I forgot it was 4th of July weekend, which meant the museum was closed. In fact, the museum is closed every weekend. I pulled into the visitor parking lot, stepped out of my car and took lots of pictures - of the front of the building, signs leading to the parking lot, and even the "Visitor Parking" signs posted at each parking space. I called Josh Burke with the expected "Guess where I'm standing right now?", and, as an owner of an HD-28 (Martin's bread-and-butter model), he truly appreciated the moment. Ben Cartwright also purchased a 000-15 this past Saturday, so the number of people who can appreciate this is growing - Colby, Josh, Ben, and myself all own Martins (I actually recently sold mine, but will purchase another very soon).

Pictures coming soon!

2 years in a row makes it a tradition!

2008-07-05T06:13:00.000-07:00

Tubing down the Rappahanock River followed by a cookout at Burke Manor and fireworks viewing in Fredericksburg has officially become an annual tradition. We (Dowkers, Burkes and Kevin Benedict) did this last year and had a great time of running the rapids, jumping off rocks into the river, and waiting on Jadee Burke to bring up the rear - Jadee has a knack for finding calm water where she has to paddle to get back into the flow. Last year, Tori fell out of her tube sliding down one of the rapids; this year, I took that prestigious honor and my left butt cheek is feeling it today. Yesterday we were joined by the Cartwrights (David, Holly and Ben), and Beth and Elliot (sorry, don't know their last names) and we all had a great time. We had an excellent spread back at Burke Manor, topped off by Holly's excellent potato salad, and Jadee's pasta salad.

We arrived at the YMCA parking lot just as the fireworks were starting, so a few of us missed some of the explosions while we looked for parking - it definitely wasn't as crowded last year.

Sign Up!!!

2008-07-03T12:18:00.000-07:00

If you're interested in signing up for the 3-on-3 basketball tournament, or a 1-on-1 grudge match, you can do so very easily at the following website:

http://sbc3on3.weebly.com

You can also find additional details, such as entry requirements, tournament rules, and current entries. Let me know if you have any questions.

Game On!!!

2008-07-02T19:31:00.000-07:00

For you sports fans out there aching for football season to begin, bemoaning the end of the NBA finals, or hopelessly searching for the athletic and competitive inspiration that major league baseball or NASCAR simply CANNOT provide, I offer you some hope!

On August 2nd, Stafford Baptist Church will be holding the highly anticipated 3-on-3 basketball tournament and grudge match extravaganza. Dust off your Chuck Taylor's, or your slightly used Air Jordan's and prepare to show off your skillz in support of the Indonesia Mission Trip.

Details are still being worked out; a preliminary announcement will be made this Sunday in church followed by more details as they're worked out.

There is a team to beat - let the trash talking begin - just be expected to perform and live up to it.

Shortcuts, how I love thee!

2008-06-30T14:17:00.000-07:00

If you hadn't heard, there was an overturned tanker truck on southbound 95 this evening. I work in D.C. on Mondays and as I left my office at 4:00, I knew I wouldn't be getting home until about 7:00 or later - 11 years of commuting up 95 has taught that and other certainties of working in and around the nation's capitol. As I approached the new overpass in Springfield, I remembered a frequently used shortcut I used to take when I worked in Springfield. This is one advantage of having lived and worked in this area for so long - you know all the shortcuts, when to use them, and when not to use them, though sometimes it bites you in the butt.

I am pleased to say that I made it home in 1 hour, rather than the 3 I had expected. What an unbelievable relief!

VBS

2008-06-27T04:19:00.000-07:00

I've had fun participating as a group leader in VBS this week. I really enjoy working with kids; however, I'm the type of parent (like so many) who really enjoys his own kids, and dreads the thought of having to corral other peoples' litters. One particular challenge this week occurred every evening as our group listened to a Bible story from the "Stead-man", Robert Stead. Many of you know Tori is quite the chatterbox and loves sharing her 50 cents (that's right, 50, not 2) when she has information to share. I've always thought this was somewhat of a "girl" thing, however, Cierra doesn't share the same characteristic. Oh, was I proven wrong this week.

Two little boys, in fact, proved me very wrong! The Steadman had a very difficult time getting his lesson complete the first two nights as these two boys (one more than the other) "hijacked" story time so they could tell their versions of Paul's experience on Malta, Christ's healing of the lepers, and I think one other tale. Fortunately, I was able to help the Steadman out the last two nights in reestablishing some groundrules for speaking - I guess with school out the kids don't think normal classroom etiquet applies. Nevertheless, it was refreshing to see kids engaged and desiring to interact at this level, and to demonstrate what they know about these stories.

No one has fallen asleep - Good Job Steadman! (Of course, there's always candy waiting at the end of story time.)

It's Official

2008-06-26T08:50:00.001-07:00

My cat is the bane to my health; oh yeah, and dust mites too.

I saw an allergist this morning and was pricked and poked with all kinds of known allergens. In the end, the results, very specifically, revealed an allergic reaction to grass pollen (minor), dust mites, and cat dander - in ascending order of reactivity. During the test, one poke in particular was used as a control; the content of which I wasn't made aware, and my reaction to the cat dander exceeded that of the control.

So, what to do now? I'm not only faced with what I see as the necessity of finding my cat another home (I'm secretly glad about this), but also cleaning my house from top to bottom in order to rid my abode of the cat's presence (dander, airborne particles from saliva, etc) which may not be completely possible.

I'm extremely thankful that my allergies are within the bounds of my control (isn't that what we all desire - control?). If it were pollen instead of the cat and dust mites, the outlook wouldn't be as promising.

Guaranteed Profundity

2008-06-26T04:08:00.000-07:00

You may remember me mentioning I've relocated my home office from the spare room in the basement to the loft in my master bedroom. It's during moves like this that I find it easy to part with items I know I don't need, don't use, or wonder why I have certain items in the first place. However, at such moments I often rediscover hidden treasures I forgot I had - like a book by C.S. Lewis I picked up in a used bookstore in Woodbridge a few years ago.

The book is Surprised By Joy, which is subtitled A remarkably frank and beguiling account of a conversion. For sure, as a Christian of thirteen years, having read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe as a teenager, and many other Lewis writings since, I've come to expect nothing less than profound insight seeping from the pen of this great author and apologist of the Christian faith. Mere Christianity and The Great Divorce still top my list of his best works, but there are many others I haven't read, some of which have been sitting on my bookshelf since I purchased them.

C.S. Lewis has also become somewhat of an anecdotal topic here in the Dowker household. The girls, of course, have seen the recent installment of the Narnia Chronicles on the big screen, and Cierra is more than aware of the fact that I hold the author in high regard. She realized recently she has the same first two initials as C.S. Lewis - Cierra Simone. She now wants to be known as C.S. Dowker.

Firefox 3.0 and other Technical Minutiae

2008-06-24T19:06:00.000-07:00

Geek Speak Alert!

Just downloaded Firefox 3.0! It definitely had me at first site.

For the record, I have a PC, would love to have a Mac but since I do a lot of work in the Microsoft world I'm relegated to a bloated operating system with needless broken bells and whistle-less whistles (Vista gadgets anyone?). However, open source software magnates like Mozilla continue to impress the world with the power and ingenuity of desktop applications that run faster and more efficiently than Microsoft's own clunky apps.

If you're running Internet Exploder, let me show you the light and reveal apps that can make running Vista (or XP if you haven't made that leap yet) a much more pleasurable experience. Sure, it's not the state of Nirvana Mac hippies, I mean users, have reached and continue to lord over us of lesser technical aspirations, but happiness and continued browsing without a crashed application can be had with a little effort.

Suggested browsers free for download:
#1 choice - Firefox 3.0 from Mozilla
#2 choice - Opera 9 (I believe 9.5 is now available)

Office Applications
#1 OpenOffice (full office suite mimicking the MS Office suite) - here are some great things about this application set:

Look and feel very similar to MS Office (low learning curve)
Saves documents, spreadsheets, presentations in MS Office formats (why is this useful? if you have to send your documents to an MS Office user, then save it in MS Office format and they'll be able to open it)
Export to PDF - yes, you can do this with MS Office, but it's a separate plug-in you have to download; OpenOffice includes it automatically
**** Downloadable for free from OpenOffice.org - what?!? Compare that to MS Office's price tag of roughly $350. This is a no brainer.

#2 Google Docs - this gets us one step closer to removing all office-like applications from our precious hard drives, eliminating the need for periodic software updates, and now you can access your documents from anywhere in the world - as long as you have an internet connection. Google's toolset still needs some work; it's not the greatest, but it's shortcomings are easily overcome by it's lack of the MS nametag and all that comes with it.

God's Grace

2008-06-24T15:25:00.000-07:00

Grace does rule, doesn't it? I was able to listen to a great message today by Todd Gaston, my former pastor at Mt. Ararat here in Stafford. I ran into Todd Saturday night as we both attended our own daughters' dance recital. (Todd has three girls wrapped up in that - I've been praying for him!) We got to talking about his recent sermon series "Grace Rules" in the midst of other topics, and I have to say the two messages in the series I've listened to thus far are excellent. If you have the opportunity, subscribe to Mt Ararat's podcast and listen to this series.

Jason Pelt mentioned in church this Sunday his recent experience that made him reflect on God's grace; others I've talked to recently, and those I've listened to, have been mentioning this very same, superbly rich concept God has chosen to use in his plan of redemption.

Bobby has a recent post in which he ponders the 3-fold plan of God's redemption (justification, sanctification, and glorification), which just bleeds the vividness of God's grace through and through. God's Grace - it's truly amazing.

King's Dominion or Busch Gardens anyone?

2008-06-22T05:44:00.001-07:00

I'm thinking of surprising the girls with a trip down to one of these parks next Saturday - is anyone else interested in making this a small group outing? Either park works for me; Cierra's anxious to ride the new Dominator at King's Dominion, but I really enjoy Busch Gardens more. It doesn't really matter though - KD is closer, so that may be better for everyone.

Let me know.

Movin' On Up

2008-06-21T04:52:00.000-07:00

In more ways than one.

First, I've joyfully moved my home office from the spare room in the basement to the loft in my master bedroom, making for a much more comfortable, sanctuarial, and "easier-to-get-to" studious abode. Thanks to Jonathan for helping with the heavy lifting (I only have a few discs in my back to spare), and to the girls for toting many of my books from the basement to the loft (fourth floor). The only negative result of this move thus far has been some difficulty with my laptop in connecting to the wireless router on the main level - two floors down. However, Windows reports a signal strength of 4/5 bars, and intermittently connects to the router, only to be disconnected within about 3 minutes every time - so I'm typing fast.

Cierra now wants to move into the extra bedroom, my former office in the basement, but I can see the impending doom of such a move. I asked her last night if she wanted to take her sleeping bag and sleep down there once to see how she likes it - she declined.

Secondly, this post will move me up on Jason's blogroll - I never thought I would get harassed into posting on my blog.

It's been a while...

2008-06-17T14:23:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since my last post. Since then, Cierra and Tori have finished school - 5th and 3rd grades respectively - and I'm very proud of their achievements this year. Cierra, after a pretty tough year of juggling many responsibilities (most notable of which is her 16 hours of gymnastics training each week) managed to make the A/B honor roll, earn the silver certificate in academic achievement (signed by the President no less), and, of course, earn the Physical Fitness award for her class. Tori's grades, as much as I can comprehend them (3rd grade is still on the 1,2,3,4 grading system which is very subjective and serves no other purpose other than to lessen the anxiety kids experience with As, Bs, Cs, Ds, etc - I guess kids wouldn't place values on the new system?) are very good as well. Tori is an excellent reader and that was certainly her strong academic area, and probably always will be.

So, we're into another summer and there's lots of change brewing in the air. The girls' mother will be returning from her two-year deployment to Europe in one month and the girls are very excited - I'm happy for them. Cierra will be moving up to middle school, back to the bottom rung of the student hierarchy, but eagerly anticipating all the new and exciting things such a move brings with it. Before all of that, however, both girls will each be spending two weeks at their own camps in July - Tori to a horseback-riding camp in North Carolina, and Cierra to an international gymnastics camp outside of Philadelphia. Their camps overlap by one week, which means I'll be all by myself for the first time for that long in two years. The downside is that I'll be travelling 4 straight weekends - first weekend to Philadelphia, second to North Carolina, third back to Philly, and fourth back to N.C. I'm sure the girls will have a blast.

So, the summer is heating up, the pool has been enjoyable the past couple of weekends, and all the carpooling to dance and gymnastics activities are about to end, for the time being anyway. Come August, I'm not sure what I'll do with myself with all the extra spare time. I may go a little stir crazy with a quiet and empty house as the girls spend much-needed time with their mother. It will be strange to say the least.

one-ism and two-ism *

2008-06-12T06:45:00.000-07:00

Is this one of one, or one of two
Rest I in this, or is it you
In grandest view are many clues
Is there more to see

What more can your love require
As truth reveals true love's desires
Convicting me as it inspires
Please burn it into me

Stunning is your active face
Revealing eternal saving grace
Walk not I, but saved in place
It cannot other be

Dance and jump and praise and sing
Connected now from inner ring
To what is all encompassing
The source of liberty

*Terms coined by Dr. Peter Jones of Westminster Seminary.

Word Of

2008-06-09T21:05:00.000-07:00

weigh each measure in your hand
turn over one and over the other
watch long where your hand may land
and land not on the hearts of brothers

dark yet enchanting seems
the jewelled and vivacious dream
slip beyond the covetous touch
of empty truth, the truth I deem

wake fast from the windowless
where pint lords rule but with no might
flog with words that shatter ghosts
but turn our dearest dreams to blight

better still to watch and wait
for calm words' fill and light rays' gait
allow the syllables and waves
my soul to peer and penetrate

The Gospel according to Cierra

2008-06-09T18:11:00.000-07:00

Cierra's been making her way through a graphic novel of the gospel of John. For those of you who don't know what graphic novels are, head up to Borders on any night of the week and you can spy a few 20 to 30 year old guys holding what appear to be extra-thick comic books - probably a good use of their time in between extended play time on World of Warcraft in the basements of their parents' homes where they don't pay any rent. I picked this one up at Lifeway a few weeks ago and thought it would be a good idea to get Cierra one as she's not into reading that much - sports are obviously her thing. She's taken to it quite well, and has been asking some very simple but thought-provoking questions - here are a few:

"Dad, was Jesus brave?"
"Dad, did Jesus have a plan before he came to Earth?"
"Dad, why did Jesus choose Judas even though he knew he'd betray him?"

If we have the opportunity, we usually spend a few minutes walking through the Bible as we try to answer these questions (not just telling her what I know, but showing her where the answers come from). After we find some important clues to help Cierra process what she's reading and answer her questions, I'll occasionally ask more pointed questions to help her think of the answers or the concepts we're discussing from other angles. In addition to that, the girls know one of their responsibilities is to give me a short summary of what they've read. Cierra did that tonight after she read about the Last Supper. She summarized the story fairly well, asked the question about Judas, and I turned to asking her some questions. She mentioned that Jesus told the disciples they couldn't follow him to where he was going. I asked Cierra what she thought about that, and perhaps if she knew why Jesus wanted the disciples to stay. Her answer:

"So they could wash each other's feet."

I'm glad she cleared that up.

And after we discussed God's omniscience - the fact that God knows all things, past, present and future; Cierra's response - "That's creepy."

One Favorite Pastime

2008-05-31T04:00:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite pastimes is to wake up early on Saturday mornings (about 6:00), make some coffee, and sit outside on my front stoop and enjoy the early morning breeze (though it may be warm), listen to birds singing (though I may have to deal with a couple of crows or blue jays), and just sit there taking in everything. It actually reminds me of my adolescent years. Growing up in northern Michigan provided me the benefit of enjoying 4 clearly defined seasons - a winter, though expectedly cold, bearable and fun with loads of activities; a spring marked by much rain, cool temperatures, and a fertile blossom of plants and animals alike; a summer in which one could breathe easily, sit outside in comfort, and not run from the presence of the afternoon sun nor retch from the soup-like quality of the August air; and, finally, an autumn as equally colorful as that of the richest I've experienced in other parts of the world, from Alaska to India, and even Hawaii.

I remember one morning, around 7:00, when I was about 14 years old, I sat out in the yard for about an hour or so doing nothing at all. Even then I woke up early - I've never really been able to "sleep-in". Out of the blue, one of the many squirrels that often ran around in the trees and fields around our house felt particularly brave and "charged" me from the blind spot on my right side. Those suckers are like ninjas they're so small and silent. The next thing that happened, and the last that little guy expected, was the shocking educational discovery of the lightening-quick reflexes and high-pitched squeal of a petrified 14-year-old with an overactive imagination envisioning a rabid, saber-toothed rodent sinking its evil, blood-stained teeth into his thigh. Though I didn't, I think the squirrel dropped a few pellets when the long-still object he was about to inspect turned into an animal's worst-imagined character embodiment of the wicked species responsible for picking off many of his peers with pellet guns at twenty yards, but now staring him in the face and likely stepping through one of it's demoniacal pre-feast rituals. I think it was the adrenaline pumping through its little veins that morphed him into the 2 pound, hairy equivalent of the six-million dollar man. Sorry, little fella. How silly we must all seem to the animal world.

What ran up to me.

What I saw.

New Site Creation Tool

2008-05-29T08:30:00.000-07:00

Just when you might have thought Lycos had been dead for a long time, LifeHacker just posted an article on a new site creation tool called WebOn, created by Lycos. It looks pretty cool. It includes built-in modules (kits) for blogs, photo albums, personal sites, travelogues and weddings.

Check it out:

Wait for the fish to thaw or...

2008-05-27T18:41:00.000-07:00

Tori and I ventured out on a quick trail walk tonight behind H.H. Poole Middle School while we waited for some fish to thaw back at the house. These trails are great for walking or a little mountain-biking. It's been a while since we've been back there, and tonight was a great night for it. Tori was sure she'd see a skunk or possum or some other kind of large rodent, but I easily convinced her those animals only come out at night. That didn't lessen her jumpiness when she heard something rustling leaves or other undergrowth not too far from our trail.

We also had to scale a small fence when we left. The little gate we walked through had been locked while we were in the woods. Fortunately for us, Tori has excellent climbing skills. She did it all on her own. Way to go kiddo!

A time to laugh...

2008-05-27T09:25:00.000-07:00

...at myself.

Cierra, yesterday, had her hair straightened by a friend's mom and it turned out looking great. She and her friend, Mina, came home to show off her new look and Cierra, feeling a little self-conscious from the attention, began to closely examine the hairline on my forehead. In only what I can call "juvenile delight", she laughed her head off as she noticed I had a solitary hair struggling for survival noticeably south of my hairline. I had never noticed this before, so I went to the mirror for a closer inspection - she's right. Not that it really bothers me that I suffer from the same ailment a full 100% of the human population endures daily (aging), but I do have a problem when someone laughs about it. Normally, I'd fire back with some equally humorous (yet harmless) attack on such an individual's crassness, but this is my child - my first-born. All I could do in the moment was reinforce how nice Cierra looked with her new do - but that didn't end the laughter.

Oh, well, there's always board games. There's also my desire to retain some youthful dignity by training for one of these half-marathons with which everyone is so enthralled - and then a full 26-miler. I have to get cleared by the doc first since my lungs haven't been in great condition this year. But by the end of the year, I hope to have completed at least one; and maybe I'll be close to the mile pace I had in the military. I'll have Cierra wipe off sweat from my hairless brow at the finish line.

"You're not asking the right question..."

2008-05-24T04:02:00.000-07:00

For those who attended the WhiteBoard Sessions with me, you'll remember the title of this post as a potentially keen response to a difficult question. Though the humor of that particular moment was enjoyable, I'm seeing the applicability of that question in my life - especially over the last two or three days.

Sobriety of mind is often something that easily eludes those who are in a restless state, and I've been no exception to that rule. Over the course of the last few months, I've been asking the question, "Where does God want me to be?" This is a great question; it highlights someone's desire to be walking in God's plan for one's life, to be honoring God in our existence as He intended us to walk. But, is it the right question to ask in all our moments of restlessness?

For me, I don't think I've been asking the right question - of God and of myself. I've been working under the assumption that the cause of my restlessness is my job - a situation in which the demands are numerous, the enjoyment in which is moderate at best, and the endless requirement to learn new skills is tiresome. I think any individual working in such conditions would take away the idea that one is in the wrong place, as I have done. Thus, I've been following a course of action that has me superficially looking for the place in which God wants me to be - the "plan" for my life, the "road" on which I'm supposed to be walking. I've asked a question; but is it the right question?

In asking that question, I've sought a certain kind of response, and a pleasurable answer, one that validates my discontent, that says "You're right; you're not in the right place; you should be doing this instead." In reality, we often receive answers to our questions in the simplest of circumstances, but fail to see their applicability either because we look beyond them for the answer we deem the only one that will satisfy, or because we don't like the answer we've received (we look when we should listen, or we look without the intention of listening). I'm guilty on both counts.

This time, however, it's different. God's flashing road sign is getting my attention. I haven't asked the right question. The right question could be "Why does God have me in this place?" A second question could be "Why am I looking for something different?" (I think I know the answer to the second question.) To be more specific, why do I think that going to a different job, yet doing the same things (more or less, though it's working to help churches technologically) will be any different than my present situation? The job will be no less demanding in the areas I specified above. There is a long list of factors that make the job move I mentioned two posts earlier completely impractical. But the comfort factor I gained in such a prospect seemed more appealing than the reality of the new job's redundancy.

Talking and praying with friends about issues like this often provides clarity - sometimes that clarity comes with no input from the friend, but simply from articulating the problem to someone other than that other voice in your head. (You all have one of those right? Good. For a second there....) Josh - thanks for the ear. Yesterday's conversations, at breakfast and last night after the "concert", helped greatly. Prayer, of course, has been invaluable.

The girls and I returned home last night rather late; we were tired, but I was in a state of contentment I hadn't experienced for many months. Much of my discontent, for the time being, has been assuaged by two days of mental sobriety testing through conversation and a dose of Proverbs 7. In such a mental state, I read an email from SiteOrganic's executive this morning in response to my resume submission and salary request. To put it bluntly - they can't afford me. I don't write that to point out my worth or value, but simply as the seal on God's answer to my wrong question. It seems He's been telling me "you don't need a different place or a different job; be content in the place I've put you", and the answer from SiteOrganic simply confirmed that for me.

So you've figured it out in three days...
It's not that I've figured anything out, other than realizing I have to listen more and look a little less. I thank God for using Colby to utter that phrase "You're not asking the right question" in a situation that seemed totally innocuous, yet it's effulgent effect in my life proved priceless. (You'll have to ask Colby about that word. He used it Thursday and the rest of us said "Huh?")

Greek Festival

2008-05-23T03:43:00.000-07:00

Is anyone interested in going to the Greek Festival being held at the Greek Orthodox Church in F'burg this weekend? (I had no idea there was a Greek Orthodox church down there.) I love Greek food, and it looks like the festivities they have planned will be enjoyable. Click the link above to get further info on the event. Oh yeah - it's free!

WhiteBoard Experience

2008-05-22T19:40:00.000-07:00

I had a great time at the WhiteBoard sessions today. The fellowship with the guys on the way up and the way back was very fruitful - especially chewing on some of the soundbites from the speakers at the conference. Of particular note is the diversity of ideas so profoundly present in the body of Christ as typified by the eight speakers today. As I wrote in my earlier post, I didn't have first-hand knowledge of the backgrounds of any of the speakers but after reading a little about them before the conference, I was able to tell the more wild from the more traditional. Mark Dever certainly stands out as the traditional guy in the pack, whereas Perry Noble could be labeled the shock jock of the sessions.

For Dever in particular, I don't think the 30 minutes allotted each speaker did his message justice. I personally walked away with a fear that his message was simplistic and may cause his hearers to assume he believes there is only one way to present the gospel, one way to do ministry, and we should never consider doing things differently. I didn't rest in that conclusion, as I said 30 minutes is surely not enough time to make a complete assessment of a man's beliefs - and fortunately discussing this in the van on the ride home allowed my fears to be lessened. Colby was able to share a clearer picture of Dever's goals as a minister, and after watching Dever's interview with Ed Stetzer this evening, I have a better understanding of where he's coming from. Stetzer has posted all of his interviews with each speaker at the conference here. So if you didn't get to go today, watch the interviews and I think you'll get a good idea of what took place at WhiteBoard.

Some of the highlights or memorable moments of the day included:

Colby getting harassed by the rest of us for neglecting his blogging duties
Meeting Colby's friend Josh - great fellowship
Vince Antonucci - his intro video, conversion story, and shark fishing illustration
Lunch at Big Bowl - great Thai dish
As I searched for the restroom at Big Bowl, I watched two men who sat across from each other slowly raise their glasses and klinked them in a quick toast to one another (this is one memorable moment I'd like to forget) - I could be jumping to conclusions here - does anyone else think that was weird?

Finally, the highlight of the day (for me) came as Ben Arment shared some info about the company that developed the website for the WhiteBoard Sessions - which was developed with a tool called SiteOrganic. As we headed out on our first break, I thought I'd go check out what SiteOrganic does and see what it could provide the church. As I talked to Brad (Executive Producer for EdgeMedia - the company behind SiteOrganic), we moved on to talking about my line of work and my desire to work more closely with churches and other Christian-based organizations in providing technology solutions to help them in their missions. It turns out that they have a position open right now for someone with my experience and background.

I walked away from this conversation completely stunned by what had just transpired. I've been wrestling with restlessness in what I'm presently doing and have wanted more in terms of serving God with my talents. I don't know what that will look like and I'm already following my typical mode of skepticism so many hours after talking with Brad. Was this really something God directed me to? Or was it just coincidence? How do I know I'm not seeing just what I want to see? Can I really take a job in Reston? What if I have to take a pay cut? How will our quality of life change as a result of such a decision? Would I be willing to do that? Is this something I really want? I'm a doubter - it's terrible, I know.

As you can see, I've not even forwarded the guy my resume and I'm already contemplating things 6 or 7 steps down the line in this foreseeable process. Whatever the outcome, I'm sure the worry-inducing issues I've brought up will be put into better perspective; God will direct as He directs us all. It's times like this I'd rather feel a physical push in the right direction.

WhiteBoard Sessions

2008-05-22T03:12:00.000-07:00

Heading to the whiteboardsessions today in Reston with Colby, Dave F., Bobby O. and a few others. I've been looking forward to this conference since I heard about it. I don't know much about the speakers, but I've spent a couple of days reading up on them at their respective blogs or church websites. I'm encouraged to see these guys taking an active involvement in engaging people through culture, relevance (what Matt Chandler calls obedience to the Scriptures), and using creative ideas to reach people through Christ. It should be an exciting time.

Playing with style...

2008-05-20T18:57:00.001-07:00

Playing on the computer tonight - trying to learn more about CSS. If you don't know what it is, I won't bore you with the details. However, without CSS, websites in general would be very difficult to manage and very bland. Most programmers know very little to nothing about design as we are usually more concerned with function rather than form. Most development shops have people dedicated to either, but usually not the same person responsible for both. The reason is usually obvious - programmers are required to continually ask the question "can we do this", whereas designers often ask the question "should we do this".

I'm attempting to straddle the line separating both worlds as I recognize my limitations as a designer but have always been fascinated with the creative world. I remember taking one of those tests in high school that's meant to show you your strengths, what you should pursue as a career, and more importantly what you should not. I scored lowest in creativity, but also know that creativity can be learned once one looses the shackles that seem to be holding back the urges for self-expression. Yes, programmers have urges for self-expression, but it's usually demonstrated in logical problem solving and mathematical formulas instead of aesthetics. I would say everyone has urges of this kind, but they're usually not recognized as such. Some urges are more abstract than others (I'm not speaking of the art form here, but rather the general ways in which creative expression is manifested).

This can be as obvious as the uniqueness of cubism to the not-so-apparent creativity with which a doctor analyzes a patient's symptoms - even better is the oratory put on display by a great trial lawyer with a limitless supply of precisely tuned phrases. (Perhaps my image of trial lawyers has been influenced too much by Hollywood.) However, one would hope our courtroom practitioners have exceeded the purely rhetorical form of oratory employed by the Ancient Greeks in favor of one that is both eloquent and rational.

While typing this post I've been listening to an Americana Roots artist Josh mentioned to me this evening. He said I'd like him and I do very much. His name is Trent Wagler - take a listen for yourself.

Cool Jams

2008-05-17T19:09:00.000-07:00

I had an impromptu jam session at my house Friday night - and lots of great talent. Josh & Jadey, and Jonathan came by for dinner; and later Bobby showed up with his guitar after finishing up work. Here are some pictures snapped as I enjoyed these very talented guys playing off each others' sounds, tweaking licks, and changing time signatures - all blending for a very enjoyable night of acoustic bliss.

I don't play much, and I'm learning at a slow pace, but the more I watch these guys play, the more motivation I get to continue. Bobby says he's only been playing seriously for a couple of years, but he must sleep with that Taylor to have that kind of progress. Josh's guitar was hummin' its warm notes all through the night, and I often thought about secretly swapping one Martin for another - I could have just stuck Josh's in my Martin case and we would have called it a night. (He did manage to "accidentally" place my capo in his case 2 or 10 times.)

The night even saw Jonathan (drummer and bassist extraordinaire) strumming some acoustic melodies and laying down some singing (I believe it was Amazing Grace).

It was a nice way to wrap up a night of dinner and games. No matter what you hear, I wasn't cheating at Dutch Blitz - I was unaware of a certain rule, which led to me cleaning up the first few hands. I sat there thinking, "Well, this isn't too hard." Then I asked the operative question, and my cat was out of the bag. After that, I didn't do so well and Josh ended up winning the game.

A Better Way

2008-05-15T02:47:00.000-07:00

Psalm 15

O Lord, who may abide in your tent?
Who may dwell on your holy hill?
He who walks with integrity, and works righteousness.
And speaks truth in his heart.
He does not slander with his tongue,
Nor does evil to his neighbor,
Nor takes up a reproach against his friend;
In whose eyes a reprobate is despised,
But who honors those who fear the Lord;
He swears to his own hurt, and does not change;
He does not put out his money at interest,
Nor does he take a bribe against the innocent,
He who does these things will never be shaken.

Calling All Practical Atheists

2008-05-14T18:49:00.000-07:00

Do you know any? Anyone who reacts to situations in completely carnal form? What about the ideas they entertain - are they shaped by their dependence on Christ, or the confusion inspired by life's daily challenges, disturbances, turmoil and heartache? What kind of advice do they give their children? Is it Biblically based, or does their counsel run contrary to the wisdom of Scripture? Do they rarely consider the sufficiency in Christ, His greatness, His Godness, His sovereignty? Do they worry for tomorrow? Are they overwhelmed by their many responsibilities that seem to pull them in opposing directions? When they wake in the morning, or go to bed at night, or perhaps in their free time, what is it they decide will occupy their moments of silence? Is it always the latest book authored by one of today's best theologians positing the answer to one's need for direction or purpose, or fulfillment in marriage or parenting - or does the need to breath in God's word consume most of their thoughts, such that it seems like air (life sustaining)?

I'm well-acquainted with at least one.

I love kids...

2008-05-08T02:25:00.001-07:00

Kids are great. Kids can teach you more about life, more about God, and especially more about yourself. When one has children, so many things are revealed about one's character that it can be quite penetrating on a personal level. The kids here in my neighborhood are a bit of a challenge. They definitely try my patience daily. Jonathan witnessed a little of this last night, and I've been told he'll be blogging about the hilarity of it all. There are about 20 kids all under the age of 12, most of them boys. Unfortunately, many of these kids spend every waking hour outside (much like myself when I was their age) with very little parent interaction, and it shows. They know me as a fun dad - I've brought out the Slip-n-Slide in past summers so my two girls can share their fun with all their friends. I'm usually the sole "grown-up" who participates in the winter snow-ball fights (I'm actually the one that instigates them). Until having back surgery, I was the all-time quarterback when the neighborhood boys wanted to play football. Lastly, the kids know I love games and am easy to get along with. I let the girls bake cookies sometimes, which they share with their friends; we joke with each other from time to time and that has made for a great atmosphere.

On the flip side, there are moments that require me to put on my "grown-up" hat in order to inject some sense when things get a little out of control in the neighborhood - since few, if any, of the other parents are outside to know what's going on. The latest craze with the boys has been sticks - they all seem to think by simply being an 8-10 year old boy makes them all 10th degree bow-staff master s. Thus, many a child has run home screaming with a scrape or banged head or partially poked eyeball, the result of one of these little drunken masters getting a little carried away with their perceived enemies.

Tori was on the receiving end of one of these blows recently, however, not exactly as described above. One child - who will remain unnamed (but I will mention the kid is on the highest dose of ridilin a child can take, according to his parents) felt the need to sneak up behind Tori and proceed to forcefully poke her in the back of the head with his stick. Of course, Tori ran home to me crying.

Last night proved to be a little different, but nothing I haven't experienced in the past. Jonathan brought Sydney over, we ordered pizza, and the girls wanted to sit outside in our fold-out chairs and enjoy their meals outdoors while enjoying the nice weather. I wasn't unaware of the likelihood of the ensuing events, but was no less perturbed. Not only are the neighborhood boys apparently masters of the bow-staff (and other extemporaneous objects), but they are also vultures. No sooner had the girls sat down comfortably in their chairs when 4 or 5 of the boys sauntered over to covertly talk about DS and GameBoy games, all the while ogling the girls' pizza. It's not like these kids resemble starving children in Africa - had they actually born some resemblance, I would gladly have shared what leftover pizza we had. (One in fact probably doesn't get outside enough - if you know what I mean.)

It is at this point that I will encourage you to read Jonathan's blog to get the rest of the story. He has a knack for embellishing trivial events with magical vocabulary. I'm doing this with another purpose in mind, as well. Jonathan has neglected his blog over the past few weeks, and he mentioned last night that he doesn't write enough. So, you can pester him to post the continuation to this story and perhaps he'll get the extra motivation he needs.

Who are you?

2008-05-06T18:32:00.000-07:00

Cierra and Tori have taken to using sleeping masks when they go to bed - I believe they got theirs with toys in the past, but they've never used them before this week. Tori came downstairs to say goodnight to me this evening and this is what I was startled by when I turned around - she added the pig snout because, well, she's Tori!

Farewell 32...

2008-05-06T02:31:00.000-07:00

Hello 33.

The Man Called Cash

2008-05-05T18:32:00.000-07:00

I took a short hiatus from reading Cash's biography listed below in my reading list, but remembered I have to stay on top of that. So, tonight I picked back up in the middle where I left off, just at the point in Cash's life where he married June Carter and his life was on somewhat of a better track after the turmoil of the late fifties and early sixties. The author, thankfully, pays abundant attention to the influence Christ had in this singer's life, although his career often portrayed a man in continual rebellion.

Thanks to my parents, I grew up thinking of Johnny Cash exclusively as a gospel singer, and it wasn't until his famous interview on network T.V. that brought my attention to his involvement in country, rock and folk music and the troubles in his early life. I didn't pay too much attention to it at the time, but always retained a sense of "realness" to this "man in black" so many people loved. It's the kind of authenticity that doesn't sugarcoat the ugly realities of life by painting a flowery picture of a man that doesn't exist. Cash was quite forthright about his struggles, in both of his autobiographies, interviews, and movies made about him through the years.

Walk the Line renewed my dormant sense of interest in Johnny Cash, his music, and his story. T-Bone Burnett did a fantastic job in remaking Cash's music with a contemporary sound that didn't remove any of the unique Cash flavor. The book deals with many of the themes captured in the movie in greater depth, and certainly more detail and truth. The movie depicts June as Cash's functional savior (perhaps even through the medium of taking him to church), yet fails to depict Cash's own sense of need he had for Christ's deeper working in his life. In this sense, Cash is an "everyman", a man who's witnessed the truth, yet succumbs to his natural passions only to be shocked by their vileness and the depths of despair, loneliness and shame to which they take people. Out of this turmoil came a longing for a greater purpose, one that took Johnny Cash from prison concerts to appearances with Billy Graham, and then even to Israel to film a self-funded documentary following the footsteps of Christ through Israel.

When reading biographies, we're often subconsciously encouraged (or perhaps this is conditioning ingrained in us from elementary school) to hail the subject's achievements, successes, and fame; however, with people like Johnny Cash it's better to witness weakness, inability and failure in order that we might glimpse grace more completely than by simply enjoying the talents with which such a person is blessed. Such is his life - one that he, at life's end, hoped would point people away from his mistakes and toward his Lord.

It does say "...all things..."

2008-05-04T03:53:00.000-07:00

Cierra's gymnastics season has come to an end, and she is definitely relieved. It's been a long and difficult year for her. Mom has been gone for two years, fifth grade has been challenging, and middle school is right around the corner (not to mention the SOLs, which, while the teachers emphasize that kids shouldn't stress over them, cause the kids to stress a great deal by the way schools hammer their importance down their throats). Cierra was also the only athlete competing at her level this year; most of her friends didn't get to move up to level 6 like she did, so that meant lots of competitions where she was there alone with no companionship or friends to root for her at her meets. The gym at which she practices also changed their schedule at the beginning of the season, which resulted in Cierra being in the gym 5 nights a week, which I scaled back to 4 after seeing how much anxiety that produced in her.

As a parent, and former athlete myself, I found it difficult sometimes watching Cierra, who is a remarkably talented gymnast and overall incredible athlete, go through the motions of her maneuvers at many events with very little motivation or concern for her performance. (This last meet, thankfully, was the total opposite. She gave it a thousand percent and was very pleased with her efforts.) It's not that I wanted to see her "win" (of course I did, what parent doesn't) but that I felt her pain. She was just not "into it" anymore. I think the gym, with their new schedule, and the pressures I mentioned above, had finally pushed Cierra into that dreaded phase of "burn out". Not many kids have the drive and dedication she's shown these past two years as a competitive gymnast; I remember the first night she practiced with her team and the energy she demonstrated that night to "prove" to her coaches that she wanted to be there, was going to work hard, and would be dedicated to her goals. That seems so long ago. Things, now, are obviously different. She's changing, becoming a young lady, and the near future holds many changes in her life for which I, as her father, hope I'm prepared.

After each meet, I found myself disappointed that Cierra wasn't getting the validation for her efforts and that it likely seemed so hopeless and pointless to her. I remember praying often that God would help her deal with these disappointments and I think He's answered those prayers in the affirmative - she no longer cries or becomes bitter in these moments. (Perhaps that's all still inside.) I had to remind myself often of Romans 8:28. It does say "...all things work together for good..." I have to remember that God uses successes AND disappointments to work out the "good" in each of our lives and rejoice in the fact that God is performing a work in Cierra, that it's remarkably glorious in its completeness, though I can't see it now.

Cierra will likely hang up the leo at the end of the season, and I'm also looking forward to that, if I'm being totally honest. Cierra will be home more; we'll be able to do more things as a family; Tori's life will be less dependent on Cierra's schedule, and I won't have to break my back with all the carpools, assessments, tuition payments and ridiculously priced accoutrements of a gymnast. (Tori sang a song of rejoicing when Cierra started talking about this recently - and likely came close to speaking in tongues!) :) Next up is Tori's dance recital. That should be good.

Here are some pictures from the VA State Championships this weekend.

RSS is for you!!!

2008-05-02T03:04:00.000-07:00

I was checking out John Piper's blog this morning and found something I wasn't expecting. Abraham, John's son, is the content editor for the Desiring God website, and he posted an article on the importance of RSS feeds for bloggers. If you don't know what I'm talking about, read the article as it is immensely helpful, easy to read, non-technical (I think - coming from a technical guy, take this with a grain of salt) and you'll be up and running in no time.

The reason I've decided to link to this post is because I've had a few people recently asking me how to do this and I've wanted to point them to an instruction guide provided by blogger, but let's just say it's extremely lacking and even had me confused for a little while. Abraham focuses on Google reader in his post and, while this is an excellent way to collect content from multiple blogs, it is not the only way. If you're just looking to subscribe to perhaps your top three or five blogs, then a simpler way to do this, without having to use Google Reader, is to set up an iGoogle page. iGoogle will simply allow you to add additional widgets to your page and will update automatically when new posts are made to blogs to which you subscribe. The easiest way to add these widgets is by following a step Abraham describes in his post.

When on one of the blogs you read:

Look up at the address bar.
At the far right of the address bar will be an RSS icon. (It's not just for looks!)
Click that bugger!
You'll be taken to a page that asks you to add this as an RSS feed to Google.
If you have an iGoogle page already set up, the widget will automatically be added to your page.

Now, I don't have a Google Reader account, so adding the feed to my iGoogle page was the default setting. If you do have a Reader account, this may be an additional selection.

I hope this was helpful.

I have mold!

2008-04-30T08:03:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to implement some of the things I'm learning about effective blogging - hence the title - something to draw you in!

Anyway, over the past couple of months I've been dealing with my most severe bout with Asthma in the 4 years that I've been told that I have it. (No matter what the doctors tell me, I don't like to admit it - until I moved to this state I didn't have a single allergy!) My doctor was a bit surprised by the severity of this episode since, though I have asthma symptoms every year at this time, it's considerably worse this year. Starting in late January I began to have the usual fits of dry coughing, tight chest, shortness of breath, but it quickly developed into bronchitis and almost pneumonia. My doctor even thought I had a blood clot in my lung. She was especially amused by the fact that my girls and I got a cat last year in between allergy seasons, and suggested that the cat + seasonal allergens could explain the exacerbating my symptoms. Medication has certainly helped but I'm still not out of the woods, so to speak. I'm still on my meds, coughing every once in a while, and today my chest is tighter than it has been in a few weeks. I've even limited the cat's access to my room. She would normally sleep on my bed near me - and often crawl on me while I'm sleeping.

I've wondered a couple of times over the course of the last four years if my house may contain some contaminants that could be causing this condition. As far as I can remember, the coughing began shortly after I moved into my house, which was 6 years ago. My basement does have a slight musty smell (what does mold smell like by the way?), but don't all basements? Lately, on the two days I work from home, I typically set up my little developer's workshop on my dining room table because it's convenient. However, I've noticed just how disorganized my house tends to look when I do that. So, yesterday I decided to move my work back down to my office in the basement. By some time in the afternoon my chest was tight, I was coughing, and even had some chest pains characteristic of breathing problems. Evidence? Could be.

I've decided to have a couple of free home inspections done (for the sake of multiple opinions) to check for mold in my house (air, basement, bathrooms, etc). If any of you have had experience with this, could recommend a company or two, I would be very grateful. I can't stand having health issues, and would love to get back out on the road in my running shoes and maybe do a marathon or two. If I tried that now I may have a lung evacuation.

Yard Work and Pictures

2008-04-26T18:09:00.000-07:00

I did a bunch of yard work today, probably the first intense bit of physical activity since having back surgery almost two years ago. My back felt pretty good, but the muscles were easily exhausted so I had to take several breaks. After all the yard work, I decided to take some pictures of the freshly rained-on flowers in the neighborhood - specifically, the azaleas in my neighbor's yard (mine are a bit too old) - and the girls as they were outside just after the rain enjoying the cool temperature.

I just created an account on slide.com to upload my pictures since my Picasa album is full. I created the slide show below, but I'm not pleased with the resolution in the product (a Flash file). Apparently, Slide does some pretty intense compression. The slide show below doesn't do the pictures justice - I'm gonna print them out at Ritz or Target tomorrow.

Post-post Post: Just click inside the slide show frame below to view the pictures in their proper layout and better resolution.

Random Commuting Reflections

2008-04-25T04:50:00.000-07:00

I usually listen to sermons on the way to work, and this has been very enriching. This morning I had the pleasure of listening to one of John Piper's messages at the "Text and Context" conference hosted at Mars Hill Church in Seattle. Typically when I'm listening to messages, I do some reflection and am often struck with the implications of the message I'm hearing and will usually have some wild idea or unconventional application pop into my head - 11 years of commuting up will do this to you, not to mention the fact the software guys are often a bit quirky. Usually, it's thought-provoking yet I rarely jot them down for later review, so I'm going to change that and use this blog to regularly post some of these ideas so I can at least have a record of them and perhaps give myself the opportunity to be laughed at by you, the reader.

Deep Thought for Apr 25: Human vanity as contrasted with the concept of instinct (practicality) in the animal kingdom points to the existence of God.

There you go - just a thought, not well-developed, but something worth pondering over.

Career Ruminations

2008-04-24T20:15:00.000-07:00

My job as a software/web developer is fascinating. I love working in a small, quiet, dark room pondering over a piece of code that is meant to solve a complex business process or problem. I'm also a visual guy who is enamored with well-designed websites that have a catchy layout, great colors and make bold statements in their ingenuity. I also love helping people figure out their own computer-related issues, especially when it involves showing them just how easy it can be for them to do it themselves - you're welcome Jason. That's not an attitude you'll find too often among software (with an air of snobbery) "engineers". Fortunately, I work with many who share my feelings, and that makes my job fun and rewarding.

Lately, however, I've been a little overwhelmed with the complexity of various tasks on my plate and am continually pointed back to my "heavy on the management, light on the information systems" MCIS education. It's actually gotten me to think about returning to school for about a year to pursue a second degree. I feel I need to do this if I'm going to continue progressing in my field and eliminate the burden I feel when presented with tasks that might be out of the scope of my experience and abilities.

The resultant anxiety I feel over this kind of near-term plan is not necessarily the product of the prospect of returning to school (I actually love that - I'm a school junkie), but the necessary time it would take away from "higher" things. Colby and I have discussed this recently, and I shared the great desire I have to engage in a structured theology program - not with any pragmatic sense of career motives, but from a personal enrichment perspective. There's so much to learn about our savior and it seems so little time to pack in all of our work hours, kids activities, family time, house chores, etc, etc - not to mention all the eating and sleeping - that it's like I'm paddling upstream in an inner tube using a ladle.

The upside to experiencing these kinds of pressures, if you want to call them that, is the realization that to have the desire to know God is good and honorable and right. If making my plans were only as simple as:

if (My.desire == good && My.time == plenty)
{
me.DoIt();
}
else if (my.time == HardlyAny)
{
me.DoItAnyway();
}

or something like that, then logic would be a better friend than I realized.

Decisions are rarely simple,
but God is good.
Life can be difficult to manage,
but God is faithful.
None of us have all the answers,
but we certainly know who does.

My Girls are Great!

2008-04-21T17:37:00.000-07:00

I was running a little late this morning so, naturally, some things got left undone - like making my bed. When I got home this evening and went upstairs to change, I found my bed had not only been made, but there was a nice teddy bear and a hand-made, crayon-colored card on my bed that read "Daddy, we made your bed for you. We love you!" It was lovingly signed by both my girls. Just when I think the two of them could be a little more thoughtful of others, they do something that shows me they CAN be thoughtful even though they don't demonstrate it 100% of the time.

We parents sometimes make a big fuss over made beds and clean rooms (Tori had a long, drawn out ordeal with her bedroom this weekend - I think the score to date is Bedroom 100, Tori 0) and I myself have considered hiring a maid because I have very little time for all the house cleaning. But it's nice to have moments like this to remind me of the greater things. Tonight, I don't mind the dishes on the counter, or the mop bucket I didn't put away after mopping the kitchen floor this evening before heading out for the gymnastics carpool duty - I'm going to take some time and enjoy the fact that my girls are great!

Flower Power Invitational

2008-04-20T13:12:00.000-07:00

I guess it was a group of hippies that named this meet, but it's probably the best one we go to every year. The lighting is always great, and this year I have a camera that can get some great shots. The professionals aren't gonna suck $30 a shot from me anymore. I wouldn't consider my shots "great", but they certainly are good. I could definitely use a lens one zoom size larger than I have now, but all in all the configuration of the events and locations from which to take pictures was very conducive to shooting with my 18x200 lens.

Cierra was in great form, which was a relief after some injuries that have plagued her this year. She's missed two meets, one for a broken toe (sustained by kicking her tire axle on her bike in the basement while performing a cartwheel on her balance beam), and another for a bruised growth plate in her elbow (still not sure how she got that one). It's taken a couple of meets for her to get her rythym and confidence back, and she's definitely accomplished that. Yesterday's was the best meet of the season for her; she scored a 9.0 on vault, 8.35 on bars, 9.2 on balance beam, and 8.55 on the floor routine - combined for a 35.10 all-around score. I'm definitely proud, certainly of the scores, but more of this 11-year-old's dedication to something she loves to do. It's not often I see kids her age with the motivation it takes to practice 15 hours a week, in the gym 4 out of 5 school nights. Fortunately, we unwind very well, taking time to relax and have fun when we have the opportunity. In fact, she's playing guitar hero right now, and I'm about to join her!

Tori is definitely a trooper. She tags along to all of the meets, waits patiently, rarely complains, and oftentimes finds one or two other siblings not participating in the sporting events to play DS games, Littlest Pet Shop, or to terrorize boys. The gymnasts usually get candy grams from their parents once the meet is over, which is a nice way to reward them for their hard work. I decided not only to get Cierra one, but I also gave one to Tori, who was very pleasantly surprised.

Not the Correct Conclusion

2008-04-17T04:44:00.000-07:00

Theologica has posted Hillary Clinton's and Barack Obama's responses to the question "Does life begin at conception?" Pay particular attention to the words both use in their answers, and the similarity - for instance, listen for the word "potential". If you're not familiar with the subtle pseudo-scientific distinction pro-abortion advocates make, I would suggest that you look it up and become familiar with this terminology.

Obama's response, while candid and, one could argue, honest from a man that may not have an answer personally to this question, it's at least clear that he's using the terminology used by most liberals when discussing this topic. His answer is short, leaves a great deal to the imagination, and simply falls in line with his m.o. during the entire campaign - "keep people guessing". I originally had some hope for Obama from a moral standpoint - I won't get into his foreign policy here, but I will use the word "naive" - when I read an article in Christianity Today a few weeks ago, but it's become apparent that he does not have a comprehensive view on this topic and I'm not sure he's looking for one.

Hilllary, on the other hand, takes logic and not only throws it out the window, but also tramples on it in her best of Arkansas jigs with a great deal of enthusiasm. Follow her response logically, and you should be able to draw the conclusions for yourself. If the determination for deciding when conception occurs is left up to every individual, then where does one draw the line regarding any other perceivably moral issue? "She's" concluded, and "her" conclusion is that every person must search "their" heart. What a shaky foundation on which to place one's framework for living! If this is true of this one moral question, then why not apply it to other matters of moral debate?

Is the alternative necessarily an "intrusion of government authority"? One must certainly weigh the potential risks of allowing the government to establish rules and guidelines regarding child-bearing, but the morass in which the country finds itself today (allowing individuals to determine the moral rightness of this issue, rather than having a respectable view of objective moral virtue and upholding it in order to produce a sustainable, virtuous society) has other better alternatives and the picture Clinton has painted is definitely not the only one - this is simply what pro-abortion advocates would have the public believe.

Very few people will listen to their words critically and the veiled speech they offer as systematic answers to a complex question (Hillary anyway, Obama's wasn't systematic at all - it was systematic ignorance, with no spoken desire for enlightenment).

Whether one calls a conceived fetus a life, or the potential for life, really only amounts to a semantic distinction that lessens the weight of the words spoken by our conscience. The distinction serves only as a distraction from the real issue at hand - is abortion morally right? This is certainly a complex issue that must be dealt with in compassion, love, and a deep care for individuals confronted with life's harsh realities. I don't claim to have every answer to all of the issues that pop up in relation to this one, but Christianity provides the best answers to all of life's difficult choices. With it as a foundation for living, the hard choices, though sometimes are no easier to make, are definitely easier to bear when we know that Jesus Christ comforts, heals, and dries our tears.

Greg Koukl deals with the topic of humanity and conception superbly in his article "Does a Fetus Have a Soul?"

C.S. Lewis

2008-04-16T12:27:00.001-07:00

This is my second C.S. Lewis post in under a week.

John Mark Reynolds of Biola has written a short but great article on Scriptorium regarding the value of Lewis' writings and the influence he's had on generations of Christians. I myself have been influenced a great deal by books like Mere Christianity, The Great Divorce, That Hideous Strength, The Abolition of Man, The Screwtape Letters, and, of course, The Narnia Chronicles. Lewis had a keen mind for depicting Christian themes visually - or at least in words descriptive enough to create visions in our minds - and so powerful that people's lives have been changed through and through. He's good at debunking so-called Christian norms that not only were a problem during his time, but continue to be a problem during our time. If you don't know what they are, you'll have to read him to find out.

That's kind of a steamy cover for a Christian allegory, hey? It's one of those covers that cause people to pick it up and read it and say, "Doh.., this is religious! But it's good!"